Valentine's Day greetings from your favorite religious, narcissistic, or sexually terrifying athletes.posted 02/14/2013
Somewhere on the laziness scale between writing "Happy Birthday" on a Facebook Wall and taking the effort to lick a Christmas card stamp lies the act of handing out bulk Valentine's cards. Luckily for you and that special sports fan in your life, Jockular has made searching for these generic tokens of affection a bit easier by compiling the best athlete-issued Valentine's around.
- posted 11/01/2012
"All of those were right except for mine!"
Liking a team is something that connects you to your friends and neighbors. Being a die-hard fan is something that makes you exactly the same as your most annoying friends and neighbors. This is how cities get their stereotypes, because a certain percentage of the town really is the same. For example, some people in Philadelphia really do get into being the most vicious and violent fans around, Lakers tickets are super expensive and people go to the games just to be seen there, and the entire city of Boston is exactly as it seems. How did you feel about your city's portrayal? Why don't you and your friends go have the exact same complaints about it?[ Via The NOC ]
- posted 10/15/2012
Welcome to the Citibank Infernodome!
Did you know that at this moment, Greece is having terrible problems battling the rise of a fascist party that is replacing the police because the economy is so bad? Kind of hard to believe, until you see this video - and these are just basketball fans. Sports, sex, fascism - these are the things people turn to when their economy and government start to collapse. This is like Mad Max, Idiocracy and various World War II references we'd rather not make all rolled up into one. On the other hand, I bet that team is freakin' pumped.[ Via Buzzfeed ]
- posted 10/11/2012
They knew they could never finger him individually, so they had to team up.
Being turned in by your teammates like this must feel like a massive violation. But if these allegations are true, we don't really feel sympathy for anyone, whether they're the fingerer or fingeree. Lance may well have convinced the whole team to do 'roids with him so that it would be harder for them to rat him out, but take 'roids they did. Or eleven people are lying for some bizarre reason to destroy their entire team's accomplishment and their friend and leader. That would be way beyond fingering though. That would be f***ed.[ Via redditor draft_punk ]
- posted 10/11/2012
I wanna be a baseball star! Now I wanna be a movie star!
In the time it takes you to read this sentence, you could have relived this child's entire sports career several times over. Don't worry, we're sure he'll find plenty of success as a fireman. No, an astronaut. No, a scientist. No, a racecar driver. No, a businessman. No, a video gamer! Yes. A video gamer.[ Via Huffington Post ]
- posted 10/07/2012
If only real QBs were this articulate... (full convo below)
For political nerds, there's the Presidential Debates. For slightly less political nerds, there was last night's debate between Jon Stewart and Bill O'Reilly. But for the jocks out there...here's a totally fake Facebook trash-talk session between all the QBs in the NFL. It's so exciting, it almost makes you forget that their actual conversations are probably about boats and investment funds. Also, how much those replacement refs sucked. And how much Philip Rivers sucks.[ Via Fake Convos ]
- posted 10/04/2012
It's just great to celebrate athleticism in talking out of your Irish butt.
Liam Neeson is known for many things; being Irish, being tall, being a terrific Shakespearean actor on top of film and "normal" theater, and of course the persistant rumor that he has the biggest member in Hollywood. His football knowledge, however, leaves something to be desired. But the combination of his attendance of a Jets game and having a new movie to promote landed him on SportsCenter, where he gave one of the most transcendant performances of awkwardness to ever grace the screen. In addition to cursing within 10 seconds of being on air, he admits to knowing nothing, then discusses being a boxer in Ireland, and finally responds to a question about Tim Tebow by saying it sounds like "ancient Arabic."
- posted 10/04/2012
Class act, that Obama. But Romney showed real grit tonight. This is how politics is played.
Even though this video is very funny, it's also a little sad because it reminds us that our nation's politics would be way better if it could only rise to the very low bar of professional sports. You think Dan Patrick or even Stuart Scott would have let Obama and Romney walk all over their questions, or evade responsibility for the plays they made earlier in the season? With all the end-zone dances and night-club shootings, this is proof that our nation's leaders are less professional than our professional athletes.[ Via Now This News ]
- posted 10/03/2012
Mark Cuban makes his money extorting people who don't want to see him dance.
Gangnam Style is the douchiest trend to ever hit the Interney, and Mark Cuban is the douchiest thing to ever hit Earth, so it makes sense that they would be a natural pair. Also unsurprisingly, since he is a gigantic lumbering beast, Cuban is awful at the dance. Fortunately, just like he did with his basketball team, he has enough money that he can hire hot dancers to obscure from all the sucking.[ Via buzzfeed ]
- posted 10/02/2012
That's heroin, right? We're Internet nerds, so don't ask us.
First, an obligitory display of minimal ethics: LeBron James is not really endorsing this heroin. These were found on a 19-year-old Philly drug dealer named Marlon Guess, as in "Marlon guessed it was a good idea to make his heroin brand way more noticeable than everyone else's." How much does LeBron go for? $750 for 140 packets (no, we have no idea how many "heroin doses" are in a "packet"). So that little baggie up there costs roughly $5.36, or about 1/56th the price of a pair of LeBron James sneakers. So how high does LeBron get you? Probably about as high as heroin.[ Via Philly.com ]