5 stories to help you survive the day's conversations about sports.
LISTS

5. Louisiana-Lafayette Beats Western Kentucky with 6 Men on Court - Organized basketball is generally played 5-on-5. So when Louisiana finished last night's game against WKU with six players on the court, winning in overtime, this otherwise obscure Sun Belt Conference contest became today's "Did you see that?" conversation piece. Pause the video at 0:37 and count the guys in red jerseys, and catch what the refs - who are now facing suspension for failing to call a technical foul - did not.

How to use it in a sentence: "I think we've already found the sixth man of the year."

 

4. Sacramento Kings Fire Head Coach Paul Westphal - After two-plus seasons and a dismal 51-120 win-loss record, Paul Westphal wasn't cutting it in Sacramento. But it was his lack of control over the team's talented but testy 21-year-old center DeMarcus Cousins that ultimately proved fatal for the Kings coach. Assistant Keith Smart will assume head coaching duties for the struggling team and look to turn things around, if only to help lift the spirits of a city devastated by the fact that it's Sacramento.

How to use it in a sentence: "The harder they Paul, the harder they phal."

 

3. Albert Pujols' $240 Million Contract Finalized - On December 8, the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim and Albert Pujols agreed to a 10-year, $240 million deal that lured baseball's best player away from the St. Louis Cardinals where he had spent the first 11 years of his Major League career. Yesterday, the deal was finalized, and it turns out $240 million wasn't quite enough. Pujols will also receive four season tickets to every Angels home game for the next decade, a hotel suite on road trips, and once he retires, will be paid $1 million annually for another ten years in a "personal services relationship." Talk about buying a friend.

How to use it in a sentence: "Maybe now Pujols can afford to change his name to something more sophisticated."

 

2. Heat Win Without Wade AND LeBron - Yesterday we were talking about the Miami Heat beating the Pacers without Dwyane Wade, in a game that saw LeBron James exit early with a sore ankle. Today we're marveling at Miami's ability to beat a resurgent Tracy McGrady and the Atlanta Hawks 116-109 in triple overtime without either star player. That other dude Chris Bosh led the charge with 33 points and 14 rebounds, helped by Mario Chalmers who scored 29. Although the headline is still "James, Wade Combine for Zero Points in Win over Atlanta."

How to use it in a sentence: "The only thing worse than watching a Hawks-Heat game without LeBron James and Dwyane Wade was having to watch it for four hours." 

 

1. Bill O'Brien to Become New Penn State Head Coach - The Penn State football program completed its first head coaching search in 46 years after New England Patriots' offensive coordinator Bill O'Brien agreed to take over from the ousted Joe Paterno, who was fired this fall in the wake of the Jerry Sandusky sex abuse scandal. O'Brien, who is best known for having the nerve to yell at Tom Brady, will continue to serve as a Patriots coach through the 2012 NFL playoffs. In related news, the Patriots players are busy memorizing every Penn State joke on the Internet.

How to use it in a sentence: "When can we start rioting again?"

COMMENTS
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  • Tiffany | 01/06/2012 flag

    Actually it's Louisiana-Lafayette.

  • Kurt | 01/06/2012 flag

    1st story is not Louisville... Louisiana-Lafayette

  • CRM | 01/06/2012 flag

    ... or just Louisiana Ragin' Cajuns... or something...

  • Turd Ferguson | 01/06/2012 flag

    Those are the Louisiana-Lafayette Rajun' Cajuns, not the Louisville Cardinals.

    Also, wow.

  • CRM | 01/06/2012 flag

    Yeah... #1 is Louisiana Tech not Louisville... thanks for helping!

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