Cheerleader Sex Scandal
Of all the things made in Taiwan (rubber ducks, Chien-Ming Wang, those little plastic swords you get in club sandwiches), nothing compares in sheer usefulness to the CGI reenactments of breaking news stories produced by Next Media Animation. If you like your news delivered with style, panache, and a complete detachment from reality/journalistic standards, this Taiwanese outlet has you covered. And if you like your Bobby Valentine depicted as a murderous cherub, you might as well just throw out the rest of the Internet and live on this site forever.
Magic Johnson Buys Dodgers
Tim Tebow Trade
Saints BountyGate
Aaron Ramsey's Goals
Super Bowl XVI
Posted 1/11/12:
Tim Tebow Goes Biblical on Steelers
Of all the things made in Taiwan (rubber ducks, Chien-Ming Wang, those little plastic swords you get in club sandwiches), nothing compares in sheer usefulness to the CGI reenactments of breaking news stories produced by Next Media Animation. If you like your news delivered with style, panache, and a complete detachment from reality/journalistic standards, this Taiwanese outlet has you covered. And if you like your Bobby Valentine depicted as a murderous cherub, you might as well just throw out the rest of the Internet and live on this site forever.
Giants Beat Cowboys
Monta Ellis Sexting Scandal
Kobe Bryant's Divorce Gets Ugly
Albert Pujols, C.J. Wilson Sign with Rangers
Jose Reyes is sure making a "splash" as the newest Miami Marlin. He was "reeled in" with a $106 million dollar offer. Of course, NMA means this literally. He's a fish now. This video also does a good job in reminding viewers that Reyes has a history of falling prey to the injury bug. Literally. He's often targeted by the common hamstring-eating wasp (Vespula femerosas).
Tiger Woods is a Cristal-popping, donkey-fucking maniac. We all know this. But the big revelation in this video, reviewing the golfer's rocky road to redemption that culminated Sunday in his first tour victory since 2009, is that Tiger employs a pony-tailed, leather-clad sex caddy, presumably for moral support and advice on club selection.
Ndamukong Suh is literally lionized in this loving portrayal of his Thanksgiving Day stomping of Green Bay's Evan Dietrich-Smith. This is one of the few times where instead of exaggerating the details of the story, the writers had to actually tone down the reenactment so as not to offend viewers sensibilities.
The sexual abuse of young boys is never a laughing matter, and the Penn State scandal and the subsequent firing of Joe Paterno gets a rather restrained, heavy-handed treatment that runs like an animated editorial cartoon... until its inexplicable ending. Kinda makes you forget all about child molestation and hungry for an episode of China, IL.
Judging from the depth of their coverage and fluency in visual gags, one might start to suspect Next Media Animation is actually a side project between The Daily Show and The Simpsons writing staffs. How else to explain the decision to highlight this under-the-radar story of Notre Dame pressuring a Kansas high school to change its logo? Maybe they were just looking for an excuse to animate a leprechaun getting kicked in the ass.
Shout out to all my Comp Lit majors! When the Philadelphia Eagles drafted QB Mike Kafka in the 4th round of last year's NFL Draft, little could they know they would be setting the table for a Taiwanese animation firm to produce the most rousing interpretation of Franz Kafka's The Metamorphosis since Home Movies' rock opera.
Freak-dancing refs, belligerent pandas, a Mortal Kombat-meets-Nacho-Libre fight scene, a Starbucks-wielding Gary Locke, a maniacal Hu Jintao... this reenactment of the Georgetown Hoyas brawl with a Chinese basketball team over the summer comes fully loaded. ED. NOTE: Watch the English dub of this one for an extra dose of hilarity thanks to the narrator's pronunciation of "brawl."
While the American sports media refused to pillory beloved NFL icon Brett Favre during the investigations into his alleged inappropriate sexual behavior with New York Jets employees in 2010, NMA somehow found the courage to mercilessly mock the legendary quarterback in this expertly detailed account of the scandal (down to the Wrangler poster that most certainly hangs in Favre's bedroom).
The one that started it all. NMA's reenactment of Tiger Woods' "Crash Heard Round the World" went viral in December 2009 and put the animators on the American public's radar (though the CIA had been monitoring their activities with stealth surveillance drones since early 2006). It lacks the satirical, absurdist punch that would later become the brand's bread and butter, but props are due to the originator that opened the door for all the ridiculousness that has followed. And there's a quiet, sophomoric joy to be had with the reporter's sign-off.
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