A man named Eli Manning just led his football team to victory in the biggest sports competition in the galaxy. Perhaps you've seen him on the front page of every newspaper in existence or overheard him mentioned via every form of human and digital communication conceivable? Doesn't ring a bell? Okay, well then definitely don't attend that team's victory parade. Oh, got dragged there by some friends? In that case, just yell out the name of that totally cute QB from the other New York team who has spent the last month quietly sobbing into the lap of a random moron such as yourself.