Cum Posey — Just two typos away from being the most unimaginative porn movie title.
Alexander Semin — Luckily they allow punching in hockey, because this name is asking for one.
Kim Yoo Suk — Literally impossible to tell if fans are shouting his name in support or protest.
Eddie Stanky — Namesake of ficticious Outkast town "Stankonia," obviously.
Coco Crisp — Worst product sponsorship deal ever.
Luca Cunti — Or, "C-word-i" if you're in mixed company.
Long Ding — "Height: 6-0" doesn't mean vertically.
Chief Kickingstallionsims — One guess as to how his ancestors got that last name.
Dick Felt — A name that doubles as an accusation in a court of law.
Dick Tiddy — Yes, the Dick Tiddy.