Sportswriters have it tough. When they're not pulling all-nighters following a late game in a race against old media's publication deadlines, they're scrambling to update a blog post with breaking news before the next guy tweets it first. They're also dealing with athlete surnames that can literally write their own dick jokes. It's an award-winning recipe for failure, and fail these headlines have in the most weirdly sexual ways. We've compiled the best examples of these hilariously unfortunate headlines.

Updated 4/20/12: