We look to our professional athletes as the genetic pinnacles of human evolution. We place them on societal pedestals and pay exorbitant prices for beer when viewing them in their arena habitats. But it's always nice to be reminded that off the field, jocks are just like us, in that they're equally as prone to embarrassingly inexplicable injuries. Enjoy this collection of the freakiest and farthest-fetched athlete afflictions guaranteed to make you feel a little better about that broken wrist from JV soccer.