For those who like fish and chips and clam rolls and grilled cheese and salad all at once.
(The Moby Dick — Classic Park, Lake County Captains)
Ahoy, matey! Have you traveled the seven seas of stadium concessions and been consistently disappointed by the lack of a three-pound fish filet sandwich on the menu? Well yo ho ho and a bottle of TUMS because a minor league ballpark in Eastlake, Ohio has battened down the hatches on marine-based meal monstrosities. The Lake County Captains unveiled a 4,000 calorie, 15-inch Moby Dick Sandwich for the 2012 season — an unholy combination of fried fish, clams, cheese, fries cole slaw, and enough tartar sauce to forever turn you off to mayonnaise-based condiments. But that's just one of the many "coronary delights" being offered at baseball stadiums this year. Check out the 10 Most Wanted (by the National Institute of Health).
"Yeah, can I get the entire concession stand between a single bun? Thanks!"
(Fifth Third Burger — Fifth Third Ballpark, West Michigan Whitecaps)
The preztel remains soft while your arteries harden.
(3 Pound Pretzel — Rangers Ballpark in Arlington, Texas Rangers)
You get to keep the helmet, and the weight gain.
(Supreme Helmet Nachos — Marlins Park, Miami Marlins)
Cheeseburger + bacon + donut bun = State Fair in your mouth.
(Luther Burger — GCS Ballpark, Gateway Grizzlies)
The state of Texas sees your footlong dog, and doubles it (and adds a pound of toppings).
(Big Boomer — Rangers Ballpark in Arlington, Texas Rangers)
Triple the pork, triple the heart attack risk.
(Triple Pork Poutine — BMO Field, Toronto FC)
You're likely to blow out your arm eating this one.
(The StrasBurger — Nationals Park, Washington Nationals)
I think the French would disagree on this definition of "parfait."
(Pulled Pork Parfait — Miller Park, Milwaukee Brewers)
For meat lovers and and trips-to-the-cardiologist lovers.
(Meat Lover's Hot Dog — Great American Ballpark, Cincinnati Reds)