Stilettos help work the calf muscles. Wind resistance boosts the calorie burn. Or something.
 

Every dead grandpa who ever complained about baggy pants just got their wings.
 

Watch the lines on the floor under her crotch. She was great in Dodgeball, though!
 

Why would you lose weight if you already have that beautiful leopard-print tent to wear?
 

#147 on the list of Things You Will Never Ever Be Able To Do.
 

Please say this isn't real, please say this isn't real, please say this isn't real. Crap. It's real.

Posted 7/16/12:

In case you ever wondered what a methed-out dolphin doing sit-ups looks like. 
 

Looks like someone's in the middle of a getting-ready-for-a-date montage.
 

It's like Craigslist Casual Enouters, in sign form.
 

Daily planner: 2:15pm - Lift weights. 2:16pm - Accidental Nap.
 

What if the aliens are on a diet? Did you think about that? No. You didn't.

 

Versus "Sit here and just watch the TV mode."

 

The money the school saved on heating oil let them keep the tuba choir running this year.

 

This is the last thing the fatties read before the aliens ate them.