You can either get a good haircut or you can get a $5 haircut, but in no universe can you get both. It seems Carolina Panthers QB Jimmy Clausen found this out the hard way after a recent trip to his neighborhood SuperCuts. Now in case you aren't familiar, SuperCuts is a hair salon that specializes in giving people cheap, slightly better haircuts than they could give themselves while drunk and jumping up and down on a pogo stick. And apparently, they "guarantee" them, which is great because explaining that your dumpy haircut was "guaranteed" really shuts up anyone making fun of it. Luckily for Clausen though, his horrible quarterbacking is more than enough to distract anyone from his horrible hair.