As if watching a 47-year old former slugger hit .171 (real stat) in the Can-Am League as part of his delusional attempt to get back into MLB wasn't sad enough, Jose Canseco took things to the next level on Sunday by arguing with and subsequently getting ejected by an umpire who probably gets paid in leftover stadium peanuts, if that. Pretty much everything about this video is perfect, from the kid asking if Canseco was the "really old guy" (0:17) to the Smash Mouth version of "Why Can't We Be Friends?" playing in the background as he's forced off the field. Seriously, who knew one of the side effects of steroids was a complete loss of dignity?