In case you were wondering what a gay, date-rapist astronaut would look like.

The heat is on! Miami is up 3-1 on the Thunder and set to capture the Larry O'Brien Trophy tonight at American Airlines Arena, where douchebag, douchebaggier and douchebaggiest Miami fans will throng and delight at their douchebag king's LeBron's first championship. But, since tip off isn't for another 9 hours, we thought we'd share this gallery of Miami's douchebaggiest getting a head start on what we can only assume will be the largest douchebag celebration since the last time Axe Body Spray was giving out free samples in Central Park. 

Congratulations on being slightly cooler than a guy with a black dildo hanging out of his mouth. 
 

He looks like a magician whose best trick is escaping relationships before girls discover he has herpes.
 

Everything before these bros.
 

Never too young to start the douching regimen ...

... or too old to stop.
 

After a night in prison in that jersey, he'll be feeling the heat for sure.