When in London, dress your penis up like the English do. We're not here to say whether this mascot is offensive; after all, long before Michael Phelps was piddling around in his Speedo, the Olympics were naked. But even when Achilles was running the floppy mile in ancient Greece, he might have objected to having a big, one-eyed, half-hard wang as the Olympic mascot. Be that as it may, the erection is here so we have to use it. Let's get your willy looking silly for this year's Summer Games: