Everyone should ride Ashley at least once.

Pure joy, escapism, thrills and fun food. That's what a theme park is all about. Oh, also disgruntled employees, thousands of customers with IQs so low you have to warn them not to stand in front of moving roller coasters, children (filthy, filthy children), and infinite possibilities for typos, accidental and intentional sexual innuendo, and just overall impatience and hatred towards humanity. All in sign form!

This sign held up with duct tape definitely knows its audience.
 

Not pictured: The line on his thigh where they droop to.
 

Even Larry the Cable guy gets depressed by this sign.
 

If you're going to the theme park alone, you probably felt bad enough before reading this.
 

First, don't be a pussy. Second, no damn handstands!
 

P.S. - I hate you all. Sincerely, Dave the sign guy.
 

What about just resting all your weight on your neck? Would that be OK?
 

This should inspire us all to write more, because it could never be worse than this.
 

(From a theme park employee) The most unhappy people in a park always work there.