Take a moment to process the fact that Steve Forbes nearly became President of the United States. Well ok, that might be a slight overstatement. He failed miserably in his attempts to secure the Republican nomations in 1996 and 2000. Time Magazine once called his campaign style a "comedy-club impression of what would happen if a mad scientist decided to construct a dork robot." But nevermind that, the man had a lot of money, and that's usually all it takes to be president nowadays. Steve Forbes still has a lot of money, which enabled him to purchase the rights to Late Night with Jimmy Fallon's Mets Bucket Hat Guy (Mets! Which brings us back to Sports! Which brings us back to Jockular!) to promote the new issue of Forbes Magazine. If you have 6 minutes and want to be completely blown away, watch this video. You'll like it, now.

Let's hope this is merely footage from a study by a team of Harvard child psychologists researching the effects of Boston fandom on the developing brain. Either way, expect to see this little girl in a beer-soaked Varitek jersey outside the Cask 'n Flagon by her 10th birthday. 

The Internet may be the number one destination for making fun of sports, but television is still the preferred medium for watching them. Where the two intersect is this hilarious collection of sports screen grabs, resulting from sloppy copyediting or expertly timed DVRing.  We can't possibly keep up with the multitude of TV mishaps ourselves, but thankfully the eagle-eyed citizen journalists of the world are always at the ready, remote in one hand and camera in the other, to capture these special moments for our collective enjoyment and head-shaking. Pitch in and do your part, and let us know if you see any more.

If you're like us, you probably don't know anything about Niger other than that it's a country somewhere in Africa and is different from Nigeria, which is also a country in Africa, and which you also know nothing about. Luckily though, such rudimentary knowledge is all anyone needs to thoroughly enjoy this "ignorant twat's" ignorant twattiness.

Umpires are like mattresses: when they're good, you don't notice them. When they're infested with bed bugs and soiled with unidentifiable bodily fluids, then all of a sudden people start complaining. Umpires are also like snowflakes: each is unique in his own, beautiful way. But an interesting thing happens as you move down the chain, from the Majors to the Dominican Summer League to YMCA girls softball — the umpiring quality plummets, while the absurdity of the strike calls skyrockets. Scientists chalk it up to a concomitant rise in meth intake. Enjoy this supercut of super nutty umps.

We know what you're thinking — two lacrosse posts in one day?? We're trying to make up for the zero lacrosse posts we've had in the past 198 days. Plus, this guy's play-by-play call is so engaging you almost forget how utterly detestable lacrosse bros are!

To be clear, when the package says it's designed for the "outdoor enthusiast," obviously the marketers meant "awesome bro who wants to sneak booze into a midnight showing of Battleship, scream obscenities at the screen, and then threaten to stab the usher who's trying to get him to calm down." If not, that's what it should say, because that's pretty much what's going to happen to anyone who walks around wielding both of these puppies.

Sexual deviants may be a lot of things, but uncreative when it comes finding new ways to be creepy isn't one of them. Just look at this guy. He's like a bald, perverted Transformer.