Valentine's Day greetings from your favorite religious, narcissistic, or sexually terrifying athletes.posted 02/14/2013
Somewhere on the laziness scale between writing "Happy Birthday" on a Facebook Wall and taking the effort to lick a Christmas card stamp lies the act of handing out bulk Valentine's cards. Luckily for you and that special sports fan in your life, Jockular has made searching for these generic tokens of affection a bit easier by compiling the best athlete-issued Valentine's around.
- posted 10/29/2012
"Nowadays everyone has to look like a french fry to get laid!"
The gym can be an intimidating place, what with all the grunting, weight dropping, and people who actually have the discipline to follow through on their commitments to get in shape. That said, not everything you see at your local health club will make you feel inadequate as a human being. In fact, certain strange sightings can make you feel downright superior. Here are some examples of enjoyable ridiculousness to serve as your incentive to get back in the gym if for no other reason than to laugh at others.
- posted 10/11/2012
They knew they could never finger him individually, so they had to team up.
Being turned in by your teammates like this must feel like a massive violation. But if these allegations are true, we don't really feel sympathy for anyone, whether they're the fingerer or fingeree. Lance may well have convinced the whole team to do 'roids with him so that it would be harder for them to rat him out, but take 'roids they did. Or eleven people are lying for some bizarre reason to destroy their entire team's accomplishment and their friend and leader. That would be way beyond fingering though. That would be f***ed.[ Via redditor draft_punk ]
- posted 10/07/2012
If only real QBs were this articulate... (full convo below)
For political nerds, there's the Presidential Debates. For slightly less political nerds, there was last night's debate between Jon Stewart and Bill O'Reilly. But for the jocks out there...here's a totally fake Facebook trash-talk session between all the QBs in the NFL. It's so exciting, it almost makes you forget that their actual conversations are probably about boats and investment funds. Also, how much those replacement refs sucked. And how much Philip Rivers sucks.[ Via Fake Convos ]
- posted 10/02/2012
That's heroin, right? We're Internet nerds, so don't ask us.
First, an obligitory display of minimal ethics: LeBron James is not really endorsing this heroin. These were found on a 19-year-old Philly drug dealer named Marlon Guess, as in "Marlon guessed it was a good idea to make his heroin brand way more noticeable than everyone else's." How much does LeBron go for? $750 for 140 packets (no, we have no idea how many "heroin doses" are in a "packet"). So that little baggie up there costs roughly $5.36, or about 1/56th the price of a pair of LeBron James sneakers. So how high does LeBron get you? Probably about as high as heroin.[ Via Philly.com ]
- posted 09/27/2012
Just like Rush Limbaugh warned. Our universities are left-of-center.
Hey, we're not the kind of people who would randomly crap on the University of Minnesota at Crookston. We would only crap on the University of Minnesota at Crookston if we had a really good reason. Like a midfield logo mistake that makes everyone associated with that logo look about 5 yards dumber. The execution? Flawless. Spans 10 yards perfectly. Frankly, it's a little closer to the side closest to whomever was taking the picture, but we'll let it slide compared to the huge lateral error. This is just making everyone look bad, UM Crookston. I mean, c'mon, what is this, the University of Wisconsin at Eau Claire?[ Via buzzfeed ]
- posted 09/27/2012
Who would even touch that ball with a bat, knowing where his hands have been?
Wow, nine straight batters? That's pretty impressive. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that all nine batters were vomiting uncontrollably, knowing their ball was being fondled by Dog Fister. They say he does it because he claims it gives him a better grip. No one has ever seen him do it, but let's just say there aren't anymore stray dogs hanging around the Tigers' ballpark.[ Via deadspin ]
- posted 09/26/2012
This is the same map as for the question, "Do you mind the smell of cheddar farts?"
After the botched ending to the Packers-Seahawks game this Monday, everyone in the country seems to agree that the NFL owners should cough up some dough and let the real referees get back to work. However, most people still feel like it must be hard for these amateur refs who were suddenly thrust onto the most high-pressure stage outside of the presidential race. Except for Wisconsonites, who are far more agreed on the need to murder replacement refs than they are on whether public employee's wages can rise as fast as inflation.[ Via reddit ]
- posted 09/24/2012
The Saints are going to have to dig deep into themselves to bring the heat this year.
Replacement refs, the election, the economy. There are a lot of reasons the 2012 football season seems to be one of the most lackluster in memory. Is there still fire? Yes. Is that fire still in players' bellies? Hell yes, and it's time to come out. Let's hope the rest of the NFL follows the Saints' lead and the rest of this season finishes with a huge, explosive, gut-level bang. A smelly bang.[ Via imgur ]
- posted 09/20/2012
Thanks everyone! Get your next fact at the same non-daily time, same non-daily place![ Via reddit ]