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There's only one way to find out if this posting is real or not, and that's to start negotiating with this fellow immediately.

UPDATE: The Craigslist ad has been removed, presumably because someone purchased the tickets.

If you weren't terrified of China before, let this reading exercise from what we can only assume is part of a central intelligence training manual change your mind. As you can clearly see, the Chinese have got our number, and in all likelihood are going to use this information about our love of beer to not only pacify us into letting them win at basketball, but to eventually get us to hand over our entire country. So please, for America's sake, learn to resist the sirens' frost-brewed call, or start boning up on your Mandarin.

A team photograph is meant to memorialize the effort of coming together to achieve a common goal. However, on occasion it can memorialize some of the most unintentionally awkward camera angles, ill-conceived team names and embarassing accidents everyone on the team would just as soon forget.

Sportswriters have it tough. When they're not pulling all-nighters following a late game in a race against old media's publication deadlines, they're scrambling to update a blog post with breaking news before the next guy tweets it first. They're also dealing with athlete surnames that can literally write their own dick jokes. It's an award-winning recipe for failure, and fail these headlines have in the most weirdly sexual ways. We've compiled the best examples of these hilariously unfortunate headlines.

It is an irrefutable law of nature that wherever fun is being had, there is an equal and opposite amount of douchebag lawyer there to ruin it for everyone. Point in case: This 1974 letter from Akron attorney, Dale Cox, complaining about the very serious domestic terror threat of paper airplanes at Cleveland Browns games. Thankfully though, not all lawyers are facile jerkoffs, so desperate for the illusion of status and money that they'll forego any and all pleasure in life in order to obtain it. James Bailey, former General Counsel of the Cleveland Browns, is one such lawyer. Now bask in the light of his hilariously sarcastic glory. 

Meet Victor Thompson, a resident of Laconia, N.H., who decided to tattoo the Patriots logo on both sides of his head before Super Bowl XLII. Mr. Thompson will be watching this Sunday's rematch from prison, where he's serving three months for shoplifting. Fortunately, jail will be the perfect place for Thompson to get the facemask portion of his tattoo, which is now his "number 1 goal." Read more about this unusual fellow in his interview with Deadspin.

Pretty much guaranteed to keep your bike safe unless the thief is a nymphomaniac or your mom. 

The AbHancer — '8-Minute Abs' in only 8 seconds.

We all want to get in shape without giving up our gluttonous eating habits or trying. Unfortunately, if this list of ridiculous products is any indication, in order do that we all must be willing to lose any sense of self-respect we have. Let us know if you see or, dare we say, own any more of these absurd contraptions. And remember: Laughter burns calories! Probably. 

Look everyone, fat white trash David Blaine is doing a trick for us!

In high school jocks were the cool kids. Or at least we thought they were until we came back to visit our parents once after college and saw them getting chewed out by their managers at Best Buy for filing The Beatles Anthology under "T" instead of "B."  That and when we saw these 10 utterly pathetic senior pictures. Enjoy!