If there's one thing spectators of live sporting events are eager to exercise — if not their own bodies — it's their right to publicly embarrass opposing coaches, players, the referees, fellow fans, and even ex-boyfriends with a well-placed piece of cardboard; a right for which they are paying more and more each year. And as the cost of ticket prices continues to go up, it's understandable that the number of hateful, homemade signs are increasing as well. Collected here are our favorite examples of these awesomely obnoxious signs of our times.

Victoria Poon (Swimming) 
Fortunately, "Victorious Poon" works for defeating swimmers and weiners.

It's clear that these Olympians were always destined for greatness, whether in the arena of sports or the far more exciting arena of professional having-sex-on-camera. Both require honing your body for the particular needs of your event. Gymnasts are always 5'3" or smaller with a slightly stocky build. Titanic Jug Bunnies have very stringent requirements, although performance enhancing implants are widely suspected and encouraged. Female weightlifting is, of course, both things at once. So whether or not these athletes win gold this summer, they've already captured our hearts. And by hearts we mean naked in our imaginations.

Remember kids, only YOU can prevent baseball fires. 

In high school jocks were the cool kids. Or at least we thought they were until we came back to visit our parents once after college and saw them getting chewed out by their managers at Best Buy for filing The Beatles Anthology under "T" instead of "B."  That and when we saw these 10 utterly pathetic senior pictures. Enjoy!

Not to add insult, but this basically imples that the woman looks and smells like garbage.  

It's easy to think of excuses for avoiding your morning run— "It's too cold," "It's too hot," "I just ate," "I don't know where my running shoes are because I haven't used them in years" — but in case you find your your supply of flimsy justifications rapidly depleting, here are eleven solid reasons for never, ever jogging again.

Strange that he went with a picture of the girl instead of the picture of Favre's dick.

You've walked by a team store and this thought has tried to cross your mind — "It would be kind of cool to get a jersey with my name on it." Thankfully that thought is quickly run over by an 18-wheeler of rationality and turned into neural roadkill. But the especially creative types among us walk by a team store and think — "It would be kind of cool to get a jersey that says FINGERBANG 69 on it." And judging from the pictures collected here, it clearly is. Enjoy this gallery of customized jerseys from some of the most brilliant minds in sports fandom.

Con? Blocks entire Super Bowl XLVI game.
Pro? Blocks entire Super Bowl XLVI halftime show.
(Lucas Oil Stadium, Indianapolis)
 

With ticket prices averaging a record $4,300 for Super Bowl XLVI, we thought we'd help you — the person who wastes money on going to the Super Bowl — figure out which seats give you the best bang for your way too many bucks. Our advice? You may want to steer clear of Lucas Oil Stadium, Section 231 (above). Oh, and since we'd prefer you sit uncomfortably at your desk and read the Internet rather than sit uncomfortably at a sporting event, here's a list of 11 other must avoid stadium seats...

This is why cardio is important, to look good naked to the guards running behind you.

We all know the usual stripper routine: someone runs out on the field, avoids getting caught for 10-15 seconds and is tackled and has a blanket put on them. A man, the crowd cheers. A woman, the crowd boos. We know the script. This man broke the streak (did you see what I blindlingly obviously did there?) by going all Thomas Crowne Affair and having a second part to his elaborate plan: a daring escape over wire fences (while naked) and then the big twist ending. 

United States of America (#1 - 104 medals, 46 gold)

We really needed all that gold. Thanks for helping our debt, Mr. Phelps!

We're all sad to see the Olympics fade into the mists of Bob Costas-narrated memory, but more than individual people, it is the nations themselves that are sad to see the Games end. For once, we were not the hyper-individualized stars of the Internet we have all convinced ourselves we are - we were part of a much larger Facebook group: our country. Here we've "favorited" (get it?) some of the best tweets from those nation-states that made the 2012 Olympics so special.

Sportswriters have it tough. When they're not pulling all-nighters following a late game in a race against old media's publication deadlines, they're scrambling to update a blog post with breaking news before the next guy tweets it first. They're also dealing with athlete surnames that can literally write their own dick jokes. It's an award-winning recipe for failure, and fail these headlines have in the most weirdly sexual ways. We've compiled the best examples of these hilariously unfortunate headlines.