- posted 01/11/2012
The fact that Gary Dell'Abate (aka Baba Booey from The Howard Stern Show) was placed on the same charity basketball team with Adam Sandler and Jon Stewart is all the evidence you need to date this picture to 1995.[ Via @si_vault ]
- posted 09/11/2012
This is why cardio is important, to look good naked to the guards running behind you.
We all know the usual stripper routine: someone runs out on the field, avoids getting caught for 10-15 seconds and is tackled and has a blanket put on them. A man, the crowd cheers. A woman, the crowd boos. We know the script. This man broke the streak (did you see what I blindlingly obviously did there?) by going all Thomas Crowne Affair and having a second part to his elaborate plan: a daring escape over wire fences (while naked) and then the big twist ending.
- posted 08/22/2012
"We just want you to feel as comfortable as possible. This is what you like, right?"
Augusta National Golf Club, home of the Masters and the last great hope of sexists everywhere, invited Condaleeza Rice and some other lady to be their first female members yesterday. And we're all really excited that Augusta is finally joining the early 20th century, however, there is some concern that after so many years of overt sexism, they may just not be ready yet to truly integrate. After some investigating, we suspect that our fears may be true and that Augusta may just not know quite what to do with women. Check out some of these ways the green jackets are laying out the red carpet:
- posted 08/07/2012
What's most interesting is we're only talking about ONE of these dicks.
For most of us, the phrase "that's not a boner!" calls to mind the awkward fold that pants can make when you sit down, usually in middle school (when, by the way, there was a good chance you actually had a boner underneath that awkward fold in your pants). For Henrik Rummel, US Olympic rower and gold medalist in the four-man coxless event (we kid you not, this picture of four dicks was from the four man coxless race), that's just something he apparently has to say over and over again because he is a large man in little shorts. That doesn't mean he still doesn't get self-conscious, because he took to the ultimate arbiter of Internet truth, Reddit, to defend himself:
- posted 08/01/2012
Not unlike in Olympic diving, in Olympic Diver Dumping points will be awarded for shape and form, deducted for a large splash, and all divers will definitely need to shower off afterwards because there doesn't appear to be toilet paper in this stall. Also, China will probably still win.[ Via reddit ]
- posted 07/23/2012
Well, that's one way to turn lemons that turned a blind eye to horrible crimes into lemonade that turned a blind eye to horrible crimes — though a better and more believeable way to do that would have been to just pretend this was a statue of the loveable old guy in Up.
- posted 07/18/2012
File under "Tattoos you'll regret in 40 lbs instead of 40 years."
We come not to mock rednecks, but to praise them. Most Americans are too concerned about looking "decent" or "sane" to really show the kind of raw animal enthusiam one needs to truly enjoy sport. Not so the noble citizens of White Trashistan, a country that exists in the mind, but also on the gut and lower back areas. While NASCAR is a huge part of this 'culture', White Trashistanis can be found at any sporting event, from singing all the words to a monster truck's theme song in the South to cheering a football player's career-ending injury in Philadelphia. If you don't know whether you belong to this spiritual nation of half-naked, mostly-naked, all-drunk talking sunburns, check out these examples of the best of the best.
- posted 07/12/2012
Rhode Island School of Design — Scrotie
It's ok because they're "artists."
Mascots are an integral part of sports. Integral meaning, fun to watch trip and fall in their big, dumb costumes. Some schools have great mascots like the Fighting Irish and the Warriors, but some schools tried creativity over inspiration, and although we can appreciate the effort, they deserve to be mocked.
- posted 07/02/2012
"It's all in the wrist. And forearm. And deltoids. And neck muscles. Oops, I broke it."
Yesterday, Mario Balotelli was a world-famous Italian soccer player no one (in America) had ever heard of. Then he took his shirt off and tried to look intimidating in the general direction of the German soccer team. Today, he is the Internet. Every once in a while, a professional athlete strikes a pose so profound, so honest, so mind-bogglingly stupid-looking that it transcends time and place to include anything Photoshop and the cretins who own it can imagine. This meme quickly generated hundreds of amateur attempts, and much like the specimens of humanity who made the photos, about 30% of them were racist, 30% were incomprehensible, 30% were just awful, and 99% of them were all three. Here is the 1% that cleared the incredibly high bar that is Jockular.
- posted 05/21/2012
The Office-cial Stanley Cup
The Stanley Cup, the most coveted trophy in sports (according to hockey fans), will be in the hands of one lucky team in a matter of weeks! Isn't that exciting? It is! We promise! You should be watching the NHL playoffs. They're on TV somewhere. But why wait for the winner to be revealed to get a peek of the Cup when the Internet is riddled with ridiculous replicas? We've gathered the most absurd homemade renderings of Lord Stanley's prized possession that even the Islanders would politely turn down.