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Major motion picture now being advertised inside major league pitcher's anus.

It appears the recent decline of print media has been especially hard on Daily Bugle photographer Peter Parker, who has been forced to rent out a bedroom in CC Sabathia's anal cavity. Why he can't just stay with Aunt May, Mary Jane or at the very least spin a comfortable web under a bridge remains a mystery, but whatever his reasons, we pray Spidey gets back on his feet & hands soon. 

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