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Jockular Original
If ads for your pointless athletic gear were honest.
Hockey
The 12 most ridiculous homemade replicas of the Stanley Cup.
Lists
New sports moments even more awkwardly erotic than the porn you're watching.
Boxing
See the world's most insulting gym trainer treat his customers like the total losers they are.
Lists
10 more of the most absurd screen grabs in sports television history.
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Basketball
How to raise the future unbearable Boston sports fans of America.
Bowling
Witness the most out-of-control celebration in the history of extremely white sports.
Baseball
The most out-of-control umpires to ever call balls and strikes.
Football
The most disproportionately emotional reaction to a football game being played by women in lingerie.
Bowling
Today in athlete humiliation: sober pro bowler falls smack on his bottom in very drunk fashion.
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The Fake ESPN
Fluid drained from Dwyane Wade's knee turned out to be Chris Bosh's tears that built up over several long sessions of consoling.
Thomas Towell
Do race horses know they're pro athletes? Did Secrtariat ever go to a nightclub wearing sweatpants and shoot himself in the leg by accident?
Not Bill Walton
A con artist was arrested for impersonating Vince Young. His cover was blown when he actually got through his scam without getting injured.
Aaron Glaser
Cubs pitcher Kerry Wood is retiring after setting the Major League record for unfulfilled expectations.
Bobby Big Wheel
Big day for retirements, Kerry Wood and anyone who invested in Facebook.
Michelle Wolf
We get it Kobe, you're not Michael Jordan. You don't have to fall apart in the last minutes of a game to prove it to us.
Rachel Hastings
Skechers to pay $40 million to settle claims that Shape-Ups would aid weight loss. But the forgone dignity of the shoes' wearers: priceless.
The Fake ESPN
Mets to host 2013 MLB All-Star Game. The ballpark will be the only Met in attendance.
Andrés du Bouchet
I think my computer is broken. There are hockey players on the main page of ESPN dot com.
Michelle Wolf
Larry Bird is 1st to win MVP, Coach of the Year and Executive of the Year. If he commits a crime then he'll be the ultimate athlete.
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If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
I hope a 28-year-old billionaire becoming even richer this week doesn't spoil your birthday.
However old you are is the new 30.
Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
Have a joyous time celebrating the day your face rubbed your mother's vagina.
Happy 24 Hours of Constant Facebook Notifications Day.
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