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Announcer
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GOLF
07/17/2012
How to awkwardly tell golf fans that you have a giant penis.
"Weiner's length away?!?!" That putt looks to be at least 12 to 15 inches from the hole! If that's what this guy thinks is a normal length for a dong, he needs to stop whispering...
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BASKETBALL
06/29/2012
ESPN analyst latest winner in 'bulging dick' sweepstakes.
It's the most common slip-up in sports reporting, and it's NEVER NOT FUNNY.
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SOCCER
06/25/2012
Today in sports announcer humiliation: BBC soccer commentator refers to 'NFL basketball.'
In fairness, we haven't even bothered to learn the acronyms for any of those limey sports leagues. USA! USA!
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BASEBALL
06/20/2012
Baseball announcer's sudden onslaught of nonsense makes baseball game briefly interesting to watch.
Dave Barnett has been a baseball play-by-play man for decades, and last night night during the 8th inning of a ho-hum Rangers/Padres interleague contest, he just couldn't take it anymore. That,...
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BASEBALL
06/04/2012
Announcer is trying a little too hard to cram sexual innuendo into his commentary.
Censors be damned, Chicago White Sox announcer Hawk Harrelson — whose name doesn't at all sound like a lame 1920's speakeasy alias — injected this little glaringly contrived...
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LACROSSE
05/15/2012
The most insane high school lacrosse play-by-play man in the business.
We know what you're thinking — two lacrosse posts in one day?? We're trying to make up for the zero lacrosse posts we've had in the past 198 days. Plus, this guy's play-by-play...
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BASKETBALL
03/05/2012
Sports announcer expresses more enthusiasm in two minutes than you've had in the last decade.
From Marist High School on the South Side of Chicago comes this gem of an overreaction. If only we could muster the same excitement for the small victories in our own lives as this Julia Child-like...
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HUMILIATION
02/21/2012
Today in announcer humiliation: college basketball broadcaster falls off stool on live TV.
Play-by-play man James Bates was ready to rock Saturday night for the big-time regionaly rivalry match-up between Dayton and Xavier, but unfortunately his stool wasn't.
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Older Posts
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Golf
Today in athlete humiliation: Golfer experiences type of pain normally reserved for Wile E. Coyote.
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Ozzie Guillen
michelle obama great. job. and. whit all my. respect she. look. great. congrats. to. her.
Johnny McNulty
Fundamentalists are right when they say the Fantasy genre is anti-Christian, since no one ever picks Tim Tebow.
Kevin Seccia
First fantasy football draft tonight! Don't know much about it but I'll be in full chain mail armor and will try to get all the unicorns!!
Michelle Wolf
My fantasy football team is where we're at a party and they say "you're funny and smart, I want to love you forever." Am I doing this right?
Jon Friedman
I play fantasy football because it is my fantasy to play football.
Alex Scordelis
Hey, who wants to hear about my fantasy football team? *the sound of everyone unfollowing me at once*
Jensen Karp
The real fantasy in my football league is that the other dudes w/ teams wouldn't have bullied me in middle school.
Ben Swanson
Fantasy Football draft! As usual, football made out of boobs goes No. 1 overall. #FantasyFootball
Aaron Fullerton
I'm a little nervous, I picked "humility" and "good sportsmanship" for my fantasy football team.
Rex Huppke
My fantasy football draft is tonight. Hoping to nab Tom Brady, a Minotaur, Jesus (with laser gun) and Paul Ryan's abs.
Ted Berg
Hey do you guys know if there's anyplace on the Internet or TV I can get tips and information regarding fantasy football?
Jen Statsky
So psyched it's (No I don't want to join your) Fantasy Football league season again!
Not Charles Barkley
MLB players, Lance Armstrong, and now Jersey Shore. It definitely don't pay to be takin them steroids.
Dan McQuade
It's kind of comforting that Phillies-Mets games have returned to their natural state of two bad teams playing each other.
Alex Mann
Fantasy football somehow makes having an argument with a teenager on a message board feel appropriate.
scharpling
I'm eating at a place where the guy in the next booth was legitimately laughing at a Michael Jordan underwear commercial.
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The only thing I like taking off more than Summer Fridays is your bathing suit.
Just a heads up that I'm starting my summer diet which has probably ended by the time you're reading this.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
May you live long enough to shit yourself.
Love Coupon: Good for one back massage I'll immediately try and turn into sex.
If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
However old you are is the new 30.
I was going to drink tonight anyway but I'm happier it's because we're celebrating your birthday.
Some days I wish I had a crappy education so your grammar wouldn't bother me so much.
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