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LONDON OLYMPICS
08/13/2012
Announcer confuses awkward billionaire for awkward millionaire who played him in a movie.
Everything this commentator knows about Facebook, he learned from the movie, the Social Network, starring Mark Zuckerberg as himself. Or maybe he just thinks all Jews look alike? Either way, pretty...
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LONDON OLYMPICS
08/08/2012
France triumphs over Argentina in horrifying Olympic crotch-punching.
Wow. This may or may not be the most aggressive thing a Frenchman has ever done. Hopefully the fact that Spain ended up winning the game will help make Spanish forward, Juan Carlos Navarro, feel...
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LONDON OLYMPICS
08/07/2012
Argentina wins gold medal in nut-punching.
In the Southern Hemisphere, low blows are reversed. Do NOT touch their bellybuttons.Let's put ourselves in the Argentinians' shoes: You come from a snobby little country that both tries to...
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BASKETBALL
07/25/2012
Lebron James' hacked Gmail account is infinitely more enjoyable than any email you'll get today.
Perhaps the clearest indication that this is fake is how LeBron is using the flag feature and has a Google+ account. No one uses the flag feature and no one, minus the employees of Google, has a...
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BASKETBALL
07/23/2012
Art museum ad makes use of the most awkwardly contrived sports analogy ever.
What goes together better than basketball, reality television stars and one of the world's most valuable collections of art? Yep, absolutely nothing! But that shouldn't stop the Met from...
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BASKETBALL
07/20/2012
What the Knicks farewell card for Jeremy Lin would look like if they actually cared that he's leaving.
An appropriate parting gift for Jeremy Lin. And look, even Jason Kidd, who never played with Jeremy signed it. Although he'll do anything when he's drunk. Farewell Jeremy Lin, not just from...
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BASKETBALL
07/19/2012
The only thing that could inflate LeBron James' ego even more than it already is.
"I am not displeased. Not displeased at all."Conservatives like to paint the Commander in Chief as a "Chicago gangster" at any chance they get, but they'll probably steer...
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SPORTS TV GUIDE
07/16/2012
Sports you can watch from your sofa: July 16, 2012
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SPORTS TV GUIDE
07/12/2012
Sports you can watch from your sofa: July 12, 2012
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SPORTS TV GUIDE
07/09/2012
The most depressing TV schedule a sports fan will ever see.
With the All-Star game consuming baseball, and every other major sport out of season, pickings for sports this week are slim. The good news is, you can watch the All-Star game and you don't have...
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Ozzie Guillen
michelle obama great. job. and. whit all my. respect she. look. great. congrats. to. her.
Johnny McNulty
Fundamentalists are right when they say the Fantasy genre is anti-Christian, since no one ever picks Tim Tebow.
Kevin Seccia
First fantasy football draft tonight! Don't know much about it but I'll be in full chain mail armor and will try to get all the unicorns!!
Michelle Wolf
My fantasy football team is where we're at a party and they say "you're funny and smart, I want to love you forever." Am I doing this right?
Jon Friedman
I play fantasy football because it is my fantasy to play football.
Alex Scordelis
Hey, who wants to hear about my fantasy football team? *the sound of everyone unfollowing me at once*
Jensen Karp
The real fantasy in my football league is that the other dudes w/ teams wouldn't have bullied me in middle school.
Ben Swanson
Fantasy Football draft! As usual, football made out of boobs goes No. 1 overall. #FantasyFootball
Aaron Fullerton
I'm a little nervous, I picked "humility" and "good sportsmanship" for my fantasy football team.
Rex Huppke
My fantasy football draft is tonight. Hoping to nab Tom Brady, a Minotaur, Jesus (with laser gun) and Paul Ryan's abs.
Ted Berg
Hey do you guys know if there's anyplace on the Internet or TV I can get tips and information regarding fantasy football?
Jen Statsky
So psyched it's (No I don't want to join your) Fantasy Football league season again!
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MLB players, Lance Armstrong, and now Jersey Shore. It definitely don't pay to be takin them steroids.
Dan McQuade
It's kind of comforting that Phillies-Mets games have returned to their natural state of two bad teams playing each other.
Alex Mann
Fantasy football somehow makes having an argument with a teenager on a message board feel appropriate.
scharpling
I'm eating at a place where the guy in the next booth was legitimately laughing at a Michael Jordan underwear commercial.
Matt Goldich
I try to shower immediately after doing something gross like showering at the gym.
Seth Meyers
I can't believe Bartolo Colon got suspended for being 50.
Peyton's Head
For $350, I'm assuming Lebron's new Nikes come with your own child laborer.
Joe Praino
A newborn's soft spot #thingsmoredurablethanMikeVick
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