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New sports moments even more awkwardly erotic than the porn you're watching.
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New Olympic photos even more awkwardly erotic than the porn you just finished watching.
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michelle obama great. job. and. whit all my. respect she. look. great. congrats. to. her.
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Fundamentalists are right when they say the Fantasy genre is anti-Christian, since no one ever picks Tim Tebow.
Kevin Seccia
First fantasy football draft tonight! Don't know much about it but I'll be in full chain mail armor and will try to get all the unicorns!!
Michelle Wolf
My fantasy football team is where we're at a party and they say "you're funny and smart, I want to love you forever." Am I doing this right?
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May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
Let's commemorate our departed WWII veterans by eating German frankfurters and Italian sausages.
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However old you are is the new 30.
Just a heads up that I'm starting my summer diet which has probably ended by the time you're reading this.
If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
Happy birthday to someone who wasn't welcomed into the world via tweet or status update.
Just wanted to be the first one to wish you a happy birthday so I can feel superior to your other well-wishers.
I was going to drink tonight anyway but I'm happier it's because we're celebrating your birthday.
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