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ESPN
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LISTS
07/19/2012
More of the most incredibly unfortunate sports headline and photo juxtapositions.
Thank god her skid-resistant t-shirt saved her.Let's face it, layout editors probably don't care about their jobs any more than the rest of us do, so it really shouldn't come as a...
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BASKETBALL
06/18/2012
Why you shouldn't plan extramarital affairs with coworkers on live TV.
For the very latest from downtown Miami, let's go now to two married ESPN analysts whose hormones are flaring in the Florida sun. What can we tell from their report? Between now and next Monday,...
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BASKETBALL
05/23/2012
ESPN poll reveals the one sports team America is united on hating.
It's pretty sad when a team is so reviled that it can't even win a majority of support in its home state. Though, this is Florida we're talking about, so the results of the vote could...
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FOOTBALL
10/04/2012
Liam Neeson has a very particular set of skills that do not include knowing about football.
It's just great to celebrate athleticism in talking out of your Irish butt.Liam Neeson is known for many things; being Irish, being tall, being a terrific Shakespearean actor on top of film...
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COLLEGE FOOTBALL
08/23/2012
9 College Gameday posters that prove your parents money is going to a complete waste.
There's no 'i' in team or 'ESPN' but there is one in 'penis'.In addition to being a time to both grow as a person and a scholar, college offers young men and women the...
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BASKETBALL
08/22/2012
The least factually accurate yet somehow most honest Kobe Bryant stats you'll see today.
These facts might not be 100% accurate, but they're honest, which is more than Kobe can tell his soon to be ex-wife he is. Other cool stats include: "99%" (The amount of decision making...
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LONDON OLYMPICS
08/10/2012
Witness Usian Bolt working almost as little as you will today.
It's Friday, you're on this website, you're clearly not working. We've become amazing at finding ways to get through our mind-numbing work before putting in a tiny bit of effort at...
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LONDON OLYMPICS
08/09/2012
Ignorant ESPN UK host calls Ireland 'a joke' for not playing with the rest of Britain.
Hello, I'm Russell Barwick and I've just volunteered to have my ass kicked by this lady."Ireland is a joke for not joining team GB. It's a whole Irish joke. It just makes no...
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POST
07/23/2012
Sports you can watch from your sofa: July 23, 2012
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BASEBALL
07/11/2012
Announcer interrupts this broadcast to bring his face some ribs.
"I'm doing this to make Prince Fielder angry enough to win."If an article begins with "In John Kruk's defense", it probably already means John Kruk has embarrassed...
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Basketball
Chinese textbook offers hilariously stereotypical description of every American.
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New sports moments even more awkwardly erotic than the porn you're watching.
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Playoff picture.
London Olympics
New Olympic photos even more awkwardly erotic than the porn you just finished watching.
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More of the worst human names in sports history.
Basketball
How to make a professional basketball player look like Peter Dinklage in comparison.
Soccer
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The 9 most gloriously obese gifs of Prince Fielder.
Lists
More of the most incredibly unfortunate sports headline and photo juxtapositions.
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Ozzie Guillen
michelle obama great. job. and. whit all my. respect she. look. great. congrats. to. her.
Johnny McNulty
Fundamentalists are right when they say the Fantasy genre is anti-Christian, since no one ever picks Tim Tebow.
Kevin Seccia
First fantasy football draft tonight! Don't know much about it but I'll be in full chain mail armor and will try to get all the unicorns!!
Michelle Wolf
My fantasy football team is where we're at a party and they say "you're funny and smart, I want to love you forever." Am I doing this right?
Jon Friedman
I play fantasy football because it is my fantasy to play football.
Alex Scordelis
Hey, who wants to hear about my fantasy football team? *the sound of everyone unfollowing me at once*
Jensen Karp
The real fantasy in my football league is that the other dudes w/ teams wouldn't have bullied me in middle school.
Ben Swanson
Fantasy Football draft! As usual, football made out of boobs goes No. 1 overall. #FantasyFootball
Aaron Fullerton
I'm a little nervous, I picked "humility" and "good sportsmanship" for my fantasy football team.
Rex Huppke
My fantasy football draft is tonight. Hoping to nab Tom Brady, a Minotaur, Jesus (with laser gun) and Paul Ryan's abs.
Ted Berg
Hey do you guys know if there's anyplace on the Internet or TV I can get tips and information regarding fantasy football?
Jen Statsky
So psyched it's (No I don't want to join your) Fantasy Football league season again!
Not Charles Barkley
MLB players, Lance Armstrong, and now Jersey Shore. It definitely don't pay to be takin them steroids.
Dan McQuade
It's kind of comforting that Phillies-Mets games have returned to their natural state of two bad teams playing each other.
Alex Mann
Fantasy football somehow makes having an argument with a teenager on a message board feel appropriate.
scharpling
I'm eating at a place where the guy in the next booth was legitimately laughing at a Michael Jordan underwear commercial.
Matt Goldich
I try to shower immediately after doing something gross like showering at the gym.
Seth Meyers
I can't believe Bartolo Colon got suspended for being 50.
Peyton's Head
For $350, I'm assuming Lebron's new Nikes come with your own child laborer.
Joe Praino
A newborn's soft spot #thingsmoredurablethanMikeVick
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I actually miss you.
Happy birthday to someone I hope is my friend even when we're too senile to remember each other's birthdays.
I can't believe it's already been a year since the last time I didn't buy you anything for your birthday.
May your summer birthday be less hot and sticky than the moment of your birth.
Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
A great way to show off your tan is to stand next to my stunningly white body.
However old you are is the new 30.
Happy 24 Hours of Constant Facebook Notifications Day.
May you live long enough to shit yourself.
Your birthday is the perfect opportunity to remind you that my birthday is coming up soon.
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