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SOCCER
07/02/2012
Proof that Americans enjoy dying more than they enjoy soccer.
Americans may not be the biggest soccer fans in the world, but if these four recent TIME magazine covers are any indication, apparently we find stories ABOUT SOMEONE'S PARENTS DYING even less...
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SOCCER
06/25/2012
Today in sports announcer humiliation: BBC soccer commentator refers to 'NFL basketball.'
In fairness, we haven't even bothered to learn the acronyms for any of those limey sports leagues. USA! USA!
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SOCCER
06/25/2012
The saddest pornographic fan distraction you'll ever barely see.
Earlier today, Italy defeated England on penalty kicks to advance to the Euro 2012 semi-finals — and it wasn't for lack of trying on behalf of England's fans, who pulled out all...
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POST
06/25/2012
The most appropriate reaction to accidentally drinking urine.
There is not much information to go on with this clip, but judging from out and out appearances, it seems Mario Balotelli — Italian soccer star completely unknown to Americans — took a...
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SOCCER
06/25/2012
The hidden mortal danger of being a soccer fan.
Watching television can be a rigorous, exhausting activity. And if a spouse or parent ever tells you otherwise, perhaps in the context of using phrases like "get off the couch" and...
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SOCCER
06/18/2012
Witness the funniest mass street harassment of a sports reporter in European history.
All hail this instant Internet classic. Sports fans and non-sports fans, men and women, Europeans and Americans who couldn't point out Europe on a world map; everyone can find the humor in this...
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New sports moments even more awkwardly erotic than the porn you're watching.
London Olympics
New Olympic photos even more awkwardly erotic than the porn you just finished watching.
Names
More of the worst human names in sports history.
London Olympics
Photoshopper wins gold medal in imagining what Olympic divers look like while crapping.
Health & Fitness
More dudes who are even worse at Photoshopping muscle than they are at building it.
Soccer
The 16 best Mario Balotelli meme pictures you'll see in this list.
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Whiffleball
Insane whiffleball pitcher shows just how many ways other people are more talented than you.
Tennis
See how not to take out your aggression on a tennis court.
Basketball
Overly sensitive basketball announcer initiates one of the most awkward moments in television history.
Baseball
Johan Santana's no-hitter followed by post-game interview with teammate's penis.
Baseball
See the one nutshot we're not above posting.
Racing
Racer's awkward victory celebration will make you feel better about never winning anything.
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Ozzie Guillen
michelle obama great. job. and. whit all my. respect she. look. great. congrats. to. her.
Johnny McNulty
Fundamentalists are right when they say the Fantasy genre is anti-Christian, since no one ever picks Tim Tebow.
Kevin Seccia
First fantasy football draft tonight! Don't know much about it but I'll be in full chain mail armor and will try to get all the unicorns!!
Michelle Wolf
My fantasy football team is where we're at a party and they say "you're funny and smart, I want to love you forever." Am I doing this right?
Jon Friedman
I play fantasy football because it is my fantasy to play football.
Alex Scordelis
Hey, who wants to hear about my fantasy football team? *the sound of everyone unfollowing me at once*
Jensen Karp
The real fantasy in my football league is that the other dudes w/ teams wouldn't have bullied me in middle school.
Ben Swanson
Fantasy Football draft! As usual, football made out of boobs goes No. 1 overall. #FantasyFootball
Aaron Fullerton
I'm a little nervous, I picked "humility" and "good sportsmanship" for my fantasy football team.
Rex Huppke
My fantasy football draft is tonight. Hoping to nab Tom Brady, a Minotaur, Jesus (with laser gun) and Paul Ryan's abs.
Ted Berg
Hey do you guys know if there's anyplace on the Internet or TV I can get tips and information regarding fantasy football?
Jen Statsky
So psyched it's (No I don't want to join your) Fantasy Football league season again!
MORE TWEETS »
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
Let's commemorate our departed WWII veterans by eating German frankfurters and Italian sausages.
Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
However old you are is the new 30.
Just a heads up that I'm starting my summer diet which has probably ended by the time you're reading this.
If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
Happy birthday to someone who wasn't welcomed into the world via tweet or status update.
Let's kick off summer with a holiday weekend that isn't warm enough for summer activities.
Happy 24 Hours of Constant Facebook Notifications Day.
I was going to drink tonight anyway but I'm happier it's because we're celebrating your birthday.
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