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LISTS
08/27/2012
The 20 most absurd, inventive and/or inappropriately sexual attempts to reinvent the bicycle.
Last one to the egg is a discarded potential person!Bicycles. Are there any greater feats of human engineering? Yes, but bicycles are still pretty cool, and their basic design has remained the...
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HEALTH & FITNESS
07/16/2012
Brutally honest treadmill knows you're horribly out of shape.
This is better than when it starts snickering mid-mile.Personalization is the future. Ads will know who you are, cars will auto-drive you home, and your workout equipment will viciously dissect...
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EXERCISE
03/09/2012
Precisely why you shouldn't purchase a pre-owned yoga mat.
< CLICK TO ENLARGE IMAGE >On the German Craigslist this would have been listed under the "Casual Encounters" section and she probably would have charged a lot more.
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New sports moments even more awkwardly erotic than the porn you're watching.
London Olympics
New Olympic photos even more awkwardly erotic than the porn you just finished watching.
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michelle obama great. job. and. whit all my. respect she. look. great. congrats. to. her.
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Kevin Seccia
First fantasy football draft tonight! Don't know much about it but I'll be in full chain mail armor and will try to get all the unicorns!!
Michelle Wolf
My fantasy football team is where we're at a party and they say "you're funny and smart, I want to love you forever." Am I doing this right?
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May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
The only thing I like taking off more than Summer Fridays is your bathing suit.
Happy birthday to someone I hope is my friend even when we're too senile to remember each other's birthdays.
Some days I wish I had a crappy education so your grammar wouldn't bother me so much.
However old you are is the new 30.
Love Coupon: Good for one back massage I'll immediately try and turn into sex.
May you live long enough to shit yourself.
Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
Just a heads up that I'm starting my summer diet which has probably ended by the time you're reading this.
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Un-Airconditioned Sex
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