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SOMEECARDS
09/05/2012
Failed fantasies.
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BASEBALL
08/17/2012
The 9 most gloriously obese gifs of Prince Fielder.
"A body in motion tends to stay in motion. Especially Prince Fielder's." - Isaac NewtonPrince Fielder is a walking physics lesson. That is to say, Prince Fielder is a wobbling,...
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EXERCISE
07/18/2012
The most ironic t-shirt ever worn by someone who wasn't a dirty hipster.
If "workout" means what a normal person eats, then yes, her warmup is your workout. For example, you eat dinner, she warms up with dinner and then workouts out with second dinner and cools...
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HEALTH & FITNESS
07/16/2012
Brutally honest treadmill knows you're horribly out of shape.
This is better than when it starts snickering mid-mile.Personalization is the future. Ads will know who you are, cars will auto-drive you home, and your workout equipment will viciously dissect...
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BASEBALL
07/05/2012
Pathetically obese baseball player's laziness on the field rivals his laziness at the gym.
"He can't move his legs and body away! That's cheating!"Picking on Prince Fielder for being fat is like picking on Jupiter for being fat; neither one can feel it. The best thing...
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BASEBALL
05/31/2012
Today in sports fan humiliation: fat man nearly swallows flying napkin.
Had this guy's face just been eaten off by a crazed zombie on bath salts, a gauze-like covering would have been just what the doctor ordered. Unfortunately for this guy, his face is fully intact,...
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LISTS
05/17/2012
13 sports fans we wish had kept their shirts on.
The best thing about being a fan of athletic competition is that you yourself can be the most unathletic human being on the planet. The men in this list demonstate that notion full-tilt, to the hilt,...
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NBA
03/08/2012
Kids fitness promotion is even more pathetic than the state of kids fitness.
The Orlando Magic are trying to encourage kids to get in shape — but is offering them an opportunity to meet a guy who's famous for going from morbidly obese to only slightly obese going to...
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Older Posts
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Basketball
Chinese textbook offers hilariously stereotypical description of every American.
Lists
New sports moments even more awkwardly erotic than the porn you're watching.
Football
Playoff picture.
Names
More of the worst human names in sports history.
London Olympics
New Olympic photos even more awkwardly erotic than the porn you just finished watching.
Basketball
How to make a professional basketball player look like Peter Dinklage in comparison.
Baseball
The 9 most gloriously obese gifs of Prince Fielder.
Football
Outstanding response from world's most awesome lawyer to world's most annoying lawyer.
MORE POSTS »
Whiffleball
Insane whiffleball pitcher shows just how many ways other people are more talented than you.
Basketball
Why you shouldn't plan extramarital affairs with coworkers on live TV.
Videos
Baseball player caught singing most emasculating song possible.
Soccer
Soccer player kicks another soccer player with the most dead-on nut shot ever.
Metta World Peace
Metta World Peace's appearance on Yo Gabba Gabba is almost as insane as Metta World Peace.
Videos
The most appropriate reaction to accidentally drinking urine.
Baseball
Johan Santana's no-hitter followed by post-game interview with teammate's penis.
Basketball
Why NBA stalkers shouldn't be given courtside seats.
MORE VIDEOS »
Ozzie Guillen
michelle obama great. job. and. whit all my. respect she. look. great. congrats. to. her.
Johnny McNulty
Fundamentalists are right when they say the Fantasy genre is anti-Christian, since no one ever picks Tim Tebow.
Kevin Seccia
First fantasy football draft tonight! Don't know much about it but I'll be in full chain mail armor and will try to get all the unicorns!!
Michelle Wolf
My fantasy football team is where we're at a party and they say "you're funny and smart, I want to love you forever." Am I doing this right?
Jon Friedman
I play fantasy football because it is my fantasy to play football.
Alex Scordelis
Hey, who wants to hear about my fantasy football team? *the sound of everyone unfollowing me at once*
Jensen Karp
The real fantasy in my football league is that the other dudes w/ teams wouldn't have bullied me in middle school.
Ben Swanson
Fantasy Football draft! As usual, football made out of boobs goes No. 1 overall. #FantasyFootball
Aaron Fullerton
I'm a little nervous, I picked "humility" and "good sportsmanship" for my fantasy football team.
Rex Huppke
My fantasy football draft is tonight. Hoping to nab Tom Brady, a Minotaur, Jesus (with laser gun) and Paul Ryan's abs.
Ted Berg
Hey do you guys know if there's anyplace on the Internet or TV I can get tips and information regarding fantasy football?
Jen Statsky
So psyched it's (No I don't want to join your) Fantasy Football league season again!
Not Charles Barkley
MLB players, Lance Armstrong, and now Jersey Shore. It definitely don't pay to be takin them steroids.
Dan McQuade
It's kind of comforting that Phillies-Mets games have returned to their natural state of two bad teams playing each other.
Alex Mann
Fantasy football somehow makes having an argument with a teenager on a message board feel appropriate.
scharpling
I'm eating at a place where the guy in the next booth was legitimately laughing at a Michael Jordan underwear commercial.
MORE TWEETS »
I actually miss you.
May your summer birthday be less hot and sticky than the moment of your birth.
However old you are is the new 30.
Happy birthday to someone I hope is my friend even when we're too senile to remember each other's birthdays.
Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
I can't believe it's already been a year since the last time I didn't buy you anything for your birthday.
Happy 24 Hours of Constant Facebook Notifications Day.
Love Coupon: Good for one back massage I'll immediately try and turn into sex.
May you live long enough to shit yourself.
I'm lost and weird without you here.
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Un-Airconditioned Sex
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Hot & Sticky Birthday
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Alcohol Cleanse
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The New 30
Note Cards (Pk of 10)
$15.99
Blow Jobs Flowers
Women's T-Shirt
$22.99
Happy Hour
Large Mug
$14.99
Work Feels Overwhelming
Journal
$12.99
Dating Profile
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More Into Your Birthday
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Four Figures A Year
Greeting Card
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140-Character-Or-Less
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Age Related Jokes
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