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Home Run Derby
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BASEBALL
07/11/2012
Announcer interrupts this broadcast to bring his face some ribs.
"I'm doing this to make Prince Fielder angry enough to win."If an article begins with "In John Kruk's defense", it probably already means John Kruk has embarrassed...
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SOMEECARDS
07/10/2012
Big hitter.
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ESPN
07/10/2012
What happens when a news network allows write-in votes for a Facebook poll.
You'd think someone running a Facebook page would be familiar with how terrible people on the Internet are, but as the existence of this overly democratized ESPN poll suggests, that is not...
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SOMEECARDS
07/10/2012
Royal rooter.
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MLB
07/09/2012
Depressing derby.
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SPORTS TV GUIDE
07/09/2012
Sports you can watch from your sofa: July 9, 2012
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BASEBALL
01/26/2012
Minor league home run derby is only proposal crazier than Newt Gingrich's moon colony.
Ohhhh, we get it now. You want the Reading Phillies to be the laughing stock of professional sports! Yep, this acid trip of a promotion definitely accomplishes that.
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Ozzie Guillen
michelle obama great. job. and. whit all my. respect she. look. great. congrats. to. her.
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Fundamentalists are right when they say the Fantasy genre is anti-Christian, since no one ever picks Tim Tebow.
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First fantasy football draft tonight! Don't know much about it but I'll be in full chain mail armor and will try to get all the unicorns!!
Michelle Wolf
My fantasy football team is where we're at a party and they say "you're funny and smart, I want to love you forever." Am I doing this right?
Jon Friedman
I play fantasy football because it is my fantasy to play football.
Alex Scordelis
Hey, who wants to hear about my fantasy football team? *the sound of everyone unfollowing me at once*
Jensen Karp
The real fantasy in my football league is that the other dudes w/ teams wouldn't have bullied me in middle school.
Ben Swanson
Fantasy Football draft! As usual, football made out of boobs goes No. 1 overall. #FantasyFootball
Aaron Fullerton
I'm a little nervous, I picked "humility" and "good sportsmanship" for my fantasy football team.
Rex Huppke
My fantasy football draft is tonight. Hoping to nab Tom Brady, a Minotaur, Jesus (with laser gun) and Paul Ryan's abs.
Ted Berg
Hey do you guys know if there's anyplace on the Internet or TV I can get tips and information regarding fantasy football?
Jen Statsky
So psyched it's (No I don't want to join your) Fantasy Football league season again!
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MLB players, Lance Armstrong, and now Jersey Shore. It definitely don't pay to be takin them steroids.
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It's kind of comforting that Phillies-Mets games have returned to their natural state of two bad teams playing each other.
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Fantasy football somehow makes having an argument with a teenager on a message board feel appropriate.
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I'm eating at a place where the guy in the next booth was legitimately laughing at a Michael Jordan underwear commercial.
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May you live long enough to shit yourself.
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