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Boob-crazed cameraman does the double take of the century.
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Ozzie Guillen
michelle obama great. job. and. whit all my. respect she. look. great. congrats. to. her.
Johnny McNulty
Fundamentalists are right when they say the Fantasy genre is anti-Christian, since no one ever picks Tim Tebow.
Kevin Seccia
First fantasy football draft tonight! Don't know much about it but I'll be in full chain mail armor and will try to get all the unicorns!!
Michelle Wolf
My fantasy football team is where we're at a party and they say "you're funny and smart, I want to love you forever." Am I doing this right?
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Just a heads up that I'm starting my summer diet which has probably ended by the time you're reading this.
I can think of no better way to honor our fallen Civil War Union soldiers than by reminding Confederate flag-wavers that our current president is black.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
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The only thing I like taking off more than Summer Fridays is your bathing suit.
Love Coupon: Good for one back massage I'll immediately try and turn into sex.
I hope bad weather doesn't ruin the Memorial Day plans I didn't make.
I was going to drink tonight anyway but I'm happier it's because we're celebrating your birthday.
I hope the new season of Arrested Development lives up to your expectations of being the best thing that's ever happened in your entire life.
Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
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