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BASEBALL
09/27/2012
Headline typo accidentally turns major league pitcher into bestiality enthusiast.
Who would even touch that ball with a bat, knowing where his hands have been?Wow, nine straight batters? That's pretty impressive. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that all nine...
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TWITTER
09/18/2012
Sports broadcaster doesn't understand that famous fake news site is a fake news site.
Area Man Doesn't Get That Joke Article About Him Is A JokeThere is nothing better than when the Onion convinces someone their stories are real. They convinced China a greedy US Senate was...
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ELECTION 2012
08/29/2012
Athletes who think we want to hear their political opinions.
Never have "politics" seemed more festive than in this sign.There are two reasons why athletes should not comment on politics. The first reason was eloquently expressed by Michael...
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VIDEOS
05/29/2012
The funniest Freudian slips in sports history.
Sports are about as close to sex as things that aren't sex can get. Don't believe us? Consider some of the phrases used to describe sports, some of the positions athletes find themselves in,...
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BASEBALL
04/06/2012
KTLA news puts unintentionally joyous spin on teen shooting.
During a rain delay, a minor league baseball team will do just about anything to keep fans entertained. One example of this is something called the "Roller Coaster," which is basically when...
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BASKETBALL
04/03/2012
How to guarantee an F-bomb on live TV.
You want a fine from the FCC? We can get you a fine from the FCC. Just send us to downtown Lexington following Kentucky's NCAA tournament win and ask a drunk Wildcats fan how he's feeling.
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PEYTON
03/19/2012
Why you shouldn't be on live TV when hearing Peyton Manning didn't sign with your team.
The news that Peyton Manning intends to sign with the Denver Broncos is hitting everyone outside of the Colorado state lines pretty hard, especially those in nearby Arizona where Peyton was rumored...
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NFL
03/16/2012
NFL feud quickly turns into pissing match.
Speculation that Jeremy Shockey might be eyeing a return to the Giants sparked a Twitter beef yesterday when Amani Toomer branded Shockey a "bad teammate" and "worse person." But...
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NEWS
02/10/2012
New petition proposes honoring our nation's presidents by being hungover all day.
A new petition has appeared online that proposes linking the day we honor our nation's presidents with the day we lie around next to a lined trashcan complaining about how bright it is and...
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NEWS
01/30/2012
12-year-old news anchor breaks hilarious story about inhumane cockfighting ring.
HA! Because they die brutally. Get it?
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Basketball
Chinese textbook offers hilariously stereotypical description of every American.
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Playoff picture.
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Whiffleball
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Ozzie Guillen
michelle obama great. job. and. whit all my. respect she. look. great. congrats. to. her.
Johnny McNulty
Fundamentalists are right when they say the Fantasy genre is anti-Christian, since no one ever picks Tim Tebow.
Kevin Seccia
First fantasy football draft tonight! Don't know much about it but I'll be in full chain mail armor and will try to get all the unicorns!!
Michelle Wolf
My fantasy football team is where we're at a party and they say "you're funny and smart, I want to love you forever." Am I doing this right?
Jon Friedman
I play fantasy football because it is my fantasy to play football.
Alex Scordelis
Hey, who wants to hear about my fantasy football team? *the sound of everyone unfollowing me at once*
Jensen Karp
The real fantasy in my football league is that the other dudes w/ teams wouldn't have bullied me in middle school.
Ben Swanson
Fantasy Football draft! As usual, football made out of boobs goes No. 1 overall. #FantasyFootball
Aaron Fullerton
I'm a little nervous, I picked "humility" and "good sportsmanship" for my fantasy football team.
Rex Huppke
My fantasy football draft is tonight. Hoping to nab Tom Brady, a Minotaur, Jesus (with laser gun) and Paul Ryan's abs.
Ted Berg
Hey do you guys know if there's anyplace on the Internet or TV I can get tips and information regarding fantasy football?
Jen Statsky
So psyched it's (No I don't want to join your) Fantasy Football league season again!
Not Charles Barkley
MLB players, Lance Armstrong, and now Jersey Shore. It definitely don't pay to be takin them steroids.
Dan McQuade
It's kind of comforting that Phillies-Mets games have returned to their natural state of two bad teams playing each other.
Alex Mann
Fantasy football somehow makes having an argument with a teenager on a message board feel appropriate.
scharpling
I'm eating at a place where the guy in the next booth was legitimately laughing at a Michael Jordan underwear commercial.
Matt Goldich
I try to shower immediately after doing something gross like showering at the gym.
Seth Meyers
I can't believe Bartolo Colon got suspended for being 50.
Peyton's Head
For $350, I'm assuming Lebron's new Nikes come with your own child laborer.
Joe Praino
A newborn's soft spot #thingsmoredurablethanMikeVick
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I actually miss you.
Happy birthday to someone I hope is my friend even when we're too senile to remember each other's birthdays.
I can't believe it's already been a year since the last time I didn't buy you anything for your birthday.
May your summer birthday be less hot and sticky than the moment of your birth.
Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
A great way to show off your tan is to stand next to my stunningly white body.
However old you are is the new 30.
Happy 24 Hours of Constant Facebook Notifications Day.
May you live long enough to shit yourself.
Your birthday is the perfect opportunity to remind you that my birthday is coming up soon.
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