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OLYMPICS
08/09/2012
How to use the Olympics to passive-aggressively scold your coworkers on their urinal usage.
So let us get this straight: a controlled piss stream is now a feat of Olympic-level athleticism? Does that make sitting down the Paralympics? Sorry, but with both Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte...
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COLLEGE FOOTBALL
04/27/2012
315-pound lineman is even cuter than the incessant baby photos in your Facebook feed.
Looks like UGA defensive lineman John Jenkins shouldn't have fallen asleep listening to Raffi's Greatest Hits. Jenkins was caught in this embarrassing position by teammate Tavarres...
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HOCKEY
04/17/2012
How to taunt a hockey goalie using the leader of the free world.
Bruins goalie and ardent Tea Party supporter Tim Thomas made big news a few months ago — or at least, as close to "big news" as an NHL player is capable of making — when he...
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BASEBALL
03/01/2012
Pitcher's team portrait is the perfect blend of terror and sexual magnetism.
We can't tell if Cubs pitcher Jeff Samardzija thinks he's posing for the cover of a romance novel or if the photographer who took this picture killed his father and Samardzija is letting him...
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SUPER BOWL
02/02/2012
EXCLUSIVE: Tom Brady responds to Gisele's email plea for Super Bowl prayers.
Today's New York Post blew a story wide open about a leaked email from Gisele Bundchen to various friends and family, asking them to join together in a digital kumbaya for husband/golden god Tom...
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NFL
01/16/2012
Bar offers drink special that perfectly encapsulates Tim Tebow's lameness.
If Denver's momentary golden boy is looking for an Unhappy Hour special to help drown his playoff sorrows, this place has something just for him. It's a drink that never seems impressive at...
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Ozzie Guillen
michelle obama great. job. and. whit all my. respect she. look. great. congrats. to. her.
Johnny McNulty
Fundamentalists are right when they say the Fantasy genre is anti-Christian, since no one ever picks Tim Tebow.
Kevin Seccia
First fantasy football draft tonight! Don't know much about it but I'll be in full chain mail armor and will try to get all the unicorns!!
Michelle Wolf
My fantasy football team is where we're at a party and they say "you're funny and smart, I want to love you forever." Am I doing this right?
Jon Friedman
I play fantasy football because it is my fantasy to play football.
Alex Scordelis
Hey, who wants to hear about my fantasy football team? *the sound of everyone unfollowing me at once*
Jensen Karp
The real fantasy in my football league is that the other dudes w/ teams wouldn't have bullied me in middle school.
Ben Swanson
Fantasy Football draft! As usual, football made out of boobs goes No. 1 overall. #FantasyFootball
Aaron Fullerton
I'm a little nervous, I picked "humility" and "good sportsmanship" for my fantasy football team.
Rex Huppke
My fantasy football draft is tonight. Hoping to nab Tom Brady, a Minotaur, Jesus (with laser gun) and Paul Ryan's abs.
Ted Berg
Hey do you guys know if there's anyplace on the Internet or TV I can get tips and information regarding fantasy football?
Jen Statsky
So psyched it's (No I don't want to join your) Fantasy Football league season again!
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Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
May you live long enough to shit yourself.
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It's hard to miss you when you post a selfie everyday.
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