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COLLEGE FOOTBALL
08/21/2012
Unfortunate logo juxtaposition answers questions about football team in most phallic way possible.
College football season is almost underway and Michigan seems to be facing a lot of uncertainty. Hopefully they can figure out which player has the biggest dick soon so they can move on to other...
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TENNIS
06/09/2012
The most pointlessly accurate TV subtitles you'll see today.
Naturally, the only difference between the captions for this men's match and the captions for a women's match would be the insertion of "OOMPF" and "AHHH" after every...
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ESPN
04/16/2012
ESPN narrowly avoids another classic racist ESPN headline.
A quick glance down at what keys surround the "U" should demonstrate just how close ESPN came to issuing another formal apology drafted by thirty-eight attorneys and seventeen marketing...
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BASEBALL
04/11/2012
Screencap perfectly illustrates the effects of playing for one of the worst teams in baseball.
It's like The Picture of Dorian Gray, but for the American League East.
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I play fantasy football because it is my fantasy to play football.
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Sorry the calendar played a cruel joke on you this year by making your birthday fall on a Monday.
Just wanted to be the first one to wish you a happy birthday so I can feel superior to your other well-wishers.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
However old you are is the new 30.
Happy birthday to someone I hope is my friend even when we're too senile to remember each other's birthdays.
Happy 24 Hours of Constant Facebook Notifications Day.
May you live long enough to shit yourself.
If I lived closer I would almost definitely try to come out for your birthday.
Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
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