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Chinese textbook offers hilariously stereotypical description of every American.
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The 14 most ridiculously white trash sports fans in America.
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Why you shouldn't plan extramarital affairs with coworkers on live TV.
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Ozzie Guillen
michelle obama great. job. and. whit all my. respect she. look. great. congrats. to. her.
Johnny McNulty
Fundamentalists are right when they say the Fantasy genre is anti-Christian, since no one ever picks Tim Tebow.
Kevin Seccia
First fantasy football draft tonight! Don't know much about it but I'll be in full chain mail armor and will try to get all the unicorns!!
Michelle Wolf
My fantasy football team is where we're at a party and they say "you're funny and smart, I want to love you forever." Am I doing this right?
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You turn me on enough to consider having un-airconditioned sex.
Sorry the calendar played a cruel joke on you this year by making your birthday fall on a Monday.
Dad, thanks for always helping me out financially so I can focus on being an independent woman.
I love how we don't even need to say out loud that I'm your favorite child.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
Please respect Kim and Kanye's privacy at this special time of deciding where to sell their newborn's pictures.
I can't believe it's already been a year since the last time I didn't buy you anything for your birthday.
Sex with you is so good that we should celebrate it by having sex.
Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
Love Coupon: Good for one back massage I'll immediately try and turn into sex.
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