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Soccer
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HEALTH & FITNESS
07/10/2012
The perfect way to combine your love of exercise and orgasms.
Arnold Schwarzenneger, former Governor of California and German-speaking Austrian, once said directly into the camera that "working out is better than coming." Well, now these...
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NAMES
07/05/2012
More of the worst human names in sports history.
Randy Raper — Raper, but not Rapist, which means he's an amateur. So that's something!Not everyone can have parents who love and respect them — just ask US Men's Slow Pitch...
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SOCCER
07/02/2012
The 16 best Mario Balotelli meme pictures you'll see in this list.
"It's all in the wrist. And forearm. And deltoids. And neck muscles. Oops, I broke it."Yesterday, Mario Balotelli was a world-famous Italian soccer player no one (in America) had...
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SOCCER
07/02/2012
Proof that Americans enjoy dying more than they enjoy soccer.
Americans may not be the biggest soccer fans in the world, but if these four recent TIME magazine covers are any indication, apparently we find stories ABOUT SOMEONE'S PARENTS DYING even less...
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SOCCER
06/25/2012
Today in sports announcer humiliation: BBC soccer commentator refers to 'NFL basketball.'
In fairness, we haven't even bothered to learn the acronyms for any of those limey sports leagues. USA! USA!
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SOCCER
06/25/2012
The saddest pornographic fan distraction you'll ever barely see.
Earlier today, Italy defeated England on penalty kicks to advance to the Euro 2012 semi-finals — and it wasn't for lack of trying on behalf of England's fans, who pulled out all...
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POST
06/25/2012
The most appropriate reaction to accidentally drinking urine.
There is not much information to go on with this clip, but judging from out and out appearances, it seems Mario Balotelli — Italian soccer star completely unknown to Americans — took a...
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SOCCER
06/25/2012
The hidden mortal danger of being a soccer fan.
Watching television can be a rigorous, exhausting activity. And if a spouse or parent ever tells you otherwise, perhaps in the context of using phrases like "get off the couch" and...
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SOCCER
06/18/2012
Witness the funniest mass street harassment of a sports reporter in European history.
All hail this instant Internet classic. Sports fans and non-sports fans, men and women, Europeans and Americans who couldn't point out Europe on a world map; everyone can find the humor in this...
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SOCCER
06/08/2012
The most absurd and probably appropriate approach to advertising soccer in America.
Leg cannons, guys with telekinetic powers and accidental juxtapositions of a dude grabbing another dude's schlong? This has all the ingredients of an American summer blockbuster! Sucks that not...
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Names
More of the worst human names in sports history.
Lists
New sports moments even more awkwardly erotic than the porn you're watching.
Soccer
The 16 best Mario Balotelli meme pictures you'll see in this list.
Health & Fitness
More dudes who are even worse at Photoshopping muscle than they are at building it.
London Olympics
Photoshopper wins gold medal in imagining what Olympic divers look like while crapping.
London Olympics
New Olympic photos even more awkwardly erotic than the porn you just finished watching.
Football
Playoff picture.
Golf
Today in athlete humiliation: Golfer experiences type of pain normally reserved for Wile E. Coyote.
Athletic Gear
18 babies who were used for creepy Etsy sports products without consent.
Mascots
12 high school mascots even more offensive than America's educational system.
MORE POSTS »
Whiffleball
Insane whiffleball pitcher shows just how many ways other people are more talented than you.
Hockey
Boob-crazed cameraman does the double take of the century.
Basketball
Overly sensitive basketball announcer initiates one of the most awkward moments in television history.
Baseball
Johan Santana's no-hitter followed by post-game interview with teammate's penis.
Basketball
Why you shouldn't plan extramarital affairs with coworkers on live TV.
Basketball
How to raise the future unbearable Boston sports fans of America.
Videos
Baseball player caught singing most emasculating song possible.
Baseball
ADD kid will finally make you feel good about the effort you put into sports.
Soccer
Iranian soccer player almost blows off hand with grenade in disturbingly normal Iranian soccer game.
Fans
Perverted fan gets ejected from baseball game for most embarrassing reason possible.
MORE VIDEOS »
Ozzie Guillen
michelle obama great. job. and. whit all my. respect she. look. great. congrats. to. her.
Johnny McNulty
Fundamentalists are right when they say the Fantasy genre is anti-Christian, since no one ever picks Tim Tebow.
Kevin Seccia
First fantasy football draft tonight! Don't know much about it but I'll be in full chain mail armor and will try to get all the unicorns!!
Michelle Wolf
My fantasy football team is where we're at a party and they say "you're funny and smart, I want to love you forever." Am I doing this right?
Jon Friedman
I play fantasy football because it is my fantasy to play football.
Alex Scordelis
Hey, who wants to hear about my fantasy football team? *the sound of everyone unfollowing me at once*
Jensen Karp
The real fantasy in my football league is that the other dudes w/ teams wouldn't have bullied me in middle school.
Ben Swanson
Fantasy Football draft! As usual, football made out of boobs goes No. 1 overall. #FantasyFootball
Aaron Fullerton
I'm a little nervous, I picked "humility" and "good sportsmanship" for my fantasy football team.
Rex Huppke
My fantasy football draft is tonight. Hoping to nab Tom Brady, a Minotaur, Jesus (with laser gun) and Paul Ryan's abs.
Ted Berg
Hey do you guys know if there's anyplace on the Internet or TV I can get tips and information regarding fantasy football?
Jen Statsky
So psyched it's (No I don't want to join your) Fantasy Football league season again!
Not Charles Barkley
MLB players, Lance Armstrong, and now Jersey Shore. It definitely don't pay to be takin them steroids.
Dan McQuade
It's kind of comforting that Phillies-Mets games have returned to their natural state of two bad teams playing each other.
Alex Mann
Fantasy football somehow makes having an argument with a teenager on a message board feel appropriate.
scharpling
I'm eating at a place where the guy in the next booth was legitimately laughing at a Michael Jordan underwear commercial.
Matt Goldich
I try to shower immediately after doing something gross like showering at the gym.
Seth Meyers
I can't believe Bartolo Colon got suspended for being 50.
Peyton's Head
For $350, I'm assuming Lebron's new Nikes come with your own child laborer.
Joe Praino
A newborn's soft spot #thingsmoredurablethanMikeVick
MORE TWEETS »
Just a heads up that I'm starting my summer diet which has probably ended by the time you're reading this.
I can think of no better way to honor our fallen Civil War Union soldiers than by reminding Confederate flag-wavers that our current president is black.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
Let's kick off summer with a holiday weekend that isn't warm enough for summer activities.
The only thing I like taking off more than Summer Fridays is your bathing suit.
Love Coupon: Good for one back massage I'll immediately try and turn into sex.
I hope bad weather doesn't ruin the Memorial Day plans I didn't make.
I was going to drink tonight anyway but I'm happier it's because we're celebrating your birthday.
I hope the new season of Arrested Development lives up to your expectations of being the best thing that's ever happened in your entire life.
Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
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Dating Profile
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More Into Your Birthday
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Four Figures A Year
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