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Jockular
Swimming
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SWIMMING
08/27/2012
Ryan Lochte's sister sets world record in offending an entire race.
"I live in a post-racial era in my mind where I rhyme Chinese with sinks & people love me."Our first question here should really be "why is Ryan Lochte's sister randomly...
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LONDON OLYMPICS
08/12/2012
New Olympic photos even more awkwardly erotic than the porn you just finished watching.
This means it's a draw right?In ancient times, the Greeks competed in the Olympics naked. This is because they weren't fooling themselves about how incredibly sexual having thousands of...
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LONDON OLYMPICS
08/10/2012
How Michael Phelps can use his 22 Olympic medals other than sell them for pot.
Now that Michael Phelps' Olympic career is over and he begins his full-time job trying to sell us avacados at Subway, the question remains: What will he do with his record 22 medals that...
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LONDON OLYMPICS
08/10/2012
The most shockingly accurate doppelgangers of the 2012 Olympics.
A white redhead winning the long jump is almost as shocking as a teenage doctor.The great thing about a doppelganger — the German word for "OMG! You know who you look like?"...
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OLYMPICS
08/09/2012
Ryan Lochte offers in-depth training on how to pee in pools.
Lochte hasn't had to not laugh this hard since we all thought he boned his sister this week.Let's give some props to Ryan Lochte for having what seems to be a pretty good sense of humor...
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LONDON OLYMPICS
08/06/2012
U.S. Olympic swim team uses their gold medals like Mardi Gras beads during London night out.
Don't look at Lochte, girls! Look here at the shiny!America is all about working hard and getting rewarded for it, and our swimmers are no different. It's just like we tell our kids: you...
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JOCKULAR ORIGINAL
08/03/2012
What it would look like if Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte had live-tweeted their epic race last week.
(Read from bottom to top. You know, like on Twitter.)Many people were impressed that Tyler Clary was able to use the NBC tape delay to live-tweet his gold-medal race against Ryan Lochte, but...
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LONDON OLYMPICS
08/02/2012
Olympic swimmer's mom wants you to know he's totally getting laid.
This year, Olympic commercials have really hammered home the point that moms are the best. In Ryan Lochte's case, moms are the coolest and totally down with him being DTF. Here's what Mom...
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LONDON OLYMPICS
08/02/2012
Watch Ryan Lochte beat Michael Phelps at sucking at interviews.
"In one ear, out the other. Kind of like the water when I swim through it."Speed. Strength. Determination. Skill. Training. Dedication. These are all words that describe what make Ryan...
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LONDON OLYMPICS
08/01/2012
Witness the most painfully non-Olympic attempts at Olympic sports.
TrampolineSo it's not, "a stupid sport that's so easy I could do it" now is it, Frank?America. We're behind the industrialized world in education, fitness, health care, and...
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Older Posts
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The 16 best Mario Balotelli meme pictures you'll see in this list.
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Playoff picture.
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Johan Santana's no-hitter followed by post-game interview with teammate's penis.
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Ozzie Guillen
michelle obama great. job. and. whit all my. respect she. look. great. congrats. to. her.
Johnny McNulty
Fundamentalists are right when they say the Fantasy genre is anti-Christian, since no one ever picks Tim Tebow.
Kevin Seccia
First fantasy football draft tonight! Don't know much about it but I'll be in full chain mail armor and will try to get all the unicorns!!
Michelle Wolf
My fantasy football team is where we're at a party and they say "you're funny and smart, I want to love you forever." Am I doing this right?
Jon Friedman
I play fantasy football because it is my fantasy to play football.
Alex Scordelis
Hey, who wants to hear about my fantasy football team? *the sound of everyone unfollowing me at once*
Jensen Karp
The real fantasy in my football league is that the other dudes w/ teams wouldn't have bullied me in middle school.
Ben Swanson
Fantasy Football draft! As usual, football made out of boobs goes No. 1 overall. #FantasyFootball
Aaron Fullerton
I'm a little nervous, I picked "humility" and "good sportsmanship" for my fantasy football team.
Rex Huppke
My fantasy football draft is tonight. Hoping to nab Tom Brady, a Minotaur, Jesus (with laser gun) and Paul Ryan's abs.
Ted Berg
Hey do you guys know if there's anyplace on the Internet or TV I can get tips and information regarding fantasy football?
Jen Statsky
So psyched it's (No I don't want to join your) Fantasy Football league season again!
Not Charles Barkley
MLB players, Lance Armstrong, and now Jersey Shore. It definitely don't pay to be takin them steroids.
Dan McQuade
It's kind of comforting that Phillies-Mets games have returned to their natural state of two bad teams playing each other.
Alex Mann
Fantasy football somehow makes having an argument with a teenager on a message board feel appropriate.
scharpling
I'm eating at a place where the guy in the next booth was legitimately laughing at a Michael Jordan underwear commercial.
Matt Goldich
I try to shower immediately after doing something gross like showering at the gym.
Seth Meyers
I can't believe Bartolo Colon got suspended for being 50.
Peyton's Head
For $350, I'm assuming Lebron's new Nikes come with your own child laborer.
Joe Praino
A newborn's soft spot #thingsmoredurablethanMikeVick
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I'm not making any age-related jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.
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