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Team Usa
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JOCKULAR ORIGINAL
08/12/2012
If the London Olympics were your Facebook feed.
With only the sure to be disappointing closing ceremony remaining in these 30th Olympic games, let us take this moment to look back on all that we've seen, in the way that we would probably have...
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LONDON OLYMPICS
08/07/2012
Argentina wins gold medal in nut-punching.
In the Southern Hemisphere, low blows are reversed. Do NOT touch their bellybuttons.Let's put ourselves in the Argentinians' shoes: You come from a snobby little country that both tries to...
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LONDON OLYMPICS
08/02/2012
Watch Ryan Lochte beat Michael Phelps at sucking at interviews.
"In one ear, out the other. Kind of like the water when I swim through it."Speed. Strength. Determination. Skill. Training. Dedication. These are all words that describe what make Ryan...
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PICS & POSTS
07/24/2012
Sports you can watch from your sofa: July 24, 2012
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SPORTS TV GUIDE
07/16/2012
Sports you can watch from your sofa: July 16, 2012
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SPORTS TV GUIDE
07/12/2012
Sports you can watch from your sofa: July 12, 2012
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LONDON OLYMPICS
07/11/2012
Team USA's opening ceremony uniforms are about as dumb as the Olympics opening ceremony will be.
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OLYMPICS
07/05/2012
Swimming fan has extremely perverted way of showing his support for Team USA.
Something tells us this isn't part of Michael Phelps' five-dollar footlong endorsement deal.Who ever said that landlocked Nebraskans don't get excited about swimming? Clearly, they...
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LONDON OLYMPICS
07/03/2012
Unfortunate BP Olympics ad is the exact kind of disaster you'd expect from BP.
Ok, in fairness, maybe Sanya RIchards-Ross' arms are permanently stuck in the air. We don't know, we haven't paid any attention to track since the last Olympics. What we do know is that...
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Older Posts
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Basketball
Chinese textbook offers hilariously stereotypical description of every American.
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New sports moments even more awkwardly erotic than the porn you're watching.
London Olympics
New Olympic photos even more awkwardly erotic than the porn you just finished watching.
Names
More of the worst human names in sports history.
Football
Playoff picture.
Soccer
The 16 best Mario Balotelli meme pictures you'll see in this list.
Basketball
How to make a professional basketball player look like Peter Dinklage in comparison.
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The 9 most gloriously obese gifs of Prince Fielder.
Lists
More of the most incredibly unfortunate sports headline and photo juxtapositions.
Mascots
12 high school mascots even more offensive than America's educational system.
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Whiffleball
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Why you shouldn't plan extramarital affairs with coworkers on live TV.
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Metta World Peace's appearance on Yo Gabba Gabba is almost as insane as Metta World Peace.
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Tennis
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Videos
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Ozzie Guillen
michelle obama great. job. and. whit all my. respect she. look. great. congrats. to. her.
Johnny McNulty
Fundamentalists are right when they say the Fantasy genre is anti-Christian, since no one ever picks Tim Tebow.
Kevin Seccia
First fantasy football draft tonight! Don't know much about it but I'll be in full chain mail armor and will try to get all the unicorns!!
Michelle Wolf
My fantasy football team is where we're at a party and they say "you're funny and smart, I want to love you forever." Am I doing this right?
Jon Friedman
I play fantasy football because it is my fantasy to play football.
Alex Scordelis
Hey, who wants to hear about my fantasy football team? *the sound of everyone unfollowing me at once*
Jensen Karp
The real fantasy in my football league is that the other dudes w/ teams wouldn't have bullied me in middle school.
Ben Swanson
Fantasy Football draft! As usual, football made out of boobs goes No. 1 overall. #FantasyFootball
Aaron Fullerton
I'm a little nervous, I picked "humility" and "good sportsmanship" for my fantasy football team.
Rex Huppke
My fantasy football draft is tonight. Hoping to nab Tom Brady, a Minotaur, Jesus (with laser gun) and Paul Ryan's abs.
Ted Berg
Hey do you guys know if there's anyplace on the Internet or TV I can get tips and information regarding fantasy football?
Jen Statsky
So psyched it's (No I don't want to join your) Fantasy Football league season again!
Not Charles Barkley
MLB players, Lance Armstrong, and now Jersey Shore. It definitely don't pay to be takin them steroids.
Dan McQuade
It's kind of comforting that Phillies-Mets games have returned to their natural state of two bad teams playing each other.
Alex Mann
Fantasy football somehow makes having an argument with a teenager on a message board feel appropriate.
scharpling
I'm eating at a place where the guy in the next booth was legitimately laughing at a Michael Jordan underwear commercial.
Matt Goldich
I try to shower immediately after doing something gross like showering at the gym.
Seth Meyers
I can't believe Bartolo Colon got suspended for being 50.
Peyton's Head
For $350, I'm assuming Lebron's new Nikes come with your own child laborer.
Joe Praino
A newborn's soft spot #thingsmoredurablethanMikeVick
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I actually miss you.
Happy birthday to someone I hope is my friend even when we're too senile to remember each other's birthdays.
I can't believe it's already been a year since the last time I didn't buy you anything for your birthday.
May your summer birthday be less hot and sticky than the moment of your birth.
Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
However old you are is the new 30.
A great way to show off your tan is to stand next to my stunningly white body.
May you live long enough to shit yourself.
If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
Happy 24 Hours of Constant Facebook Notifications Day.
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