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Tweets
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TWEETS
09/05/2012
Baseball manager's pro-Obama tweet is even more illiterate than most anti-Obama tweets.
This tweet great. job. whit all our respect. you. look. dumb. congrats. to. you.Ozzie Guillen is an inspirational figure who taught us that a Spanish-speaking immigrant from Venezuela can still be...
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TWEETS
09/04/2012
The 12 best comedian tweets about fantasy football.
It's that time of year again — the time when former jocks relive their glory days, normal people play a game because they are bored, and nerds complain that people are enjoying something...
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TWEET PICK
08/30/2012
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TWEETS
08/24/2012
17 hilarious Lance Armstrong tweets from people with just as many Tour de France titles as him.
If you didn't wake up this morning, read the news about Lance Armstrong, and then immediately tweet about it, then maybe you have a life or kids that you pay attention to. But that doesn't...
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TWEETS
08/06/2012
15 Olympic tweets more shocking than Michael Phelps' orgasm face.
Twitter. For thousands of years, the greatest competitors on earth have travelled to Greece to issue short, snarky observations on whatever was trending at the moment. In ancient times, this could...
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SOMEECARDS
07/31/2012
Bronze medal tweets.
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TWEETS
07/30/2012
The 20 most intentionally funny Olympics tweets since the unintentionally funny Opening Ceremony.
Only the best of the best can compete in the Olympics, but it takes a true hero to make fun of them on the Internet. Here are the brave men and women of Twitter who have trained, prepared, and...
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TWEETS
07/23/2012
11 Penn State tweets with better football records than Penn State over the past 14 years.
In case you've been living under a rock and/or rely soley on the coaches of Penn State to tell you things, the NCAA passed down its sanctions for Nittany Lions this morning, which include a fine...
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FOOTBALL
07/12/2012
Austen Lane may be pranking us with this hilarious schedule but we don't care.
The early bird gets the abs. Shine and grind, everyone. Shine. And grind.On the Internet, no one knows whether or not you're a genius. Austen "A-Train" Lane tweeted out this...
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TWEETS
06/19/2012
12 Roger Clemens tweets even more guilty of being hilarious than he is of using steroids.
In keeping with our legal system's long-stading tradition of failing to convict famous athletes of crimes they obviously committed, Roger Clemens was acquitted of all six perjury charges...
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Basketball
Chinese textbook offers hilariously stereotypical description of every American.
Lists
New sports moments even more awkwardly erotic than the porn you're watching.
Football
Playoff picture.
Names
More of the worst human names in sports history.
London Olympics
New Olympic photos even more awkwardly erotic than the porn you just finished watching.
Soccer
The 16 best Mario Balotelli meme pictures you'll see in this list.
Baseball
The 9 most gloriously obese gifs of Prince Fielder.
Signs
The most bizarre, sexual, and/or passive-aggressive signs from amusement parks.
Lists
More of the most incredibly unfortunate sports headline and photo juxtapositions.
Lists
10 more of the most shockingly accurate doppelgangers in sports.
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Whiffleball
Insane whiffleball pitcher shows just how many ways other people are more talented than you.
Baseball
Most deranged voicemail ever links causes of drug use, abortion and gay marriage to Manny Ramirez.
Basketball
Why you shouldn't plan extramarital affairs with coworkers on live TV.
Fans
Perverted fan gets ejected from baseball game for most embarrassing reason possible.
Football
Every insufferable NFL fan in 90 seconds.
Racing
Racer's awkward victory celebration will make you feel better about never winning anything.
Baseball
Johan Santana's no-hitter followed by post-game interview with teammate's penis.
Videos
Baseball player caught singing most emasculating song possible.
Lists
The most heartbreaking rejected marriage proposals ever made at a sporting event.
Bowling
Witness the most out-of-control celebration in the history of extremely white sports.
MORE VIDEOS »
Ozzie Guillen
michelle obama great. job. and. whit all my. respect she. look. great. congrats. to. her.
Johnny McNulty
Fundamentalists are right when they say the Fantasy genre is anti-Christian, since no one ever picks Tim Tebow.
Kevin Seccia
First fantasy football draft tonight! Don't know much about it but I'll be in full chain mail armor and will try to get all the unicorns!!
Michelle Wolf
My fantasy football team is where we're at a party and they say "you're funny and smart, I want to love you forever." Am I doing this right?
Jon Friedman
I play fantasy football because it is my fantasy to play football.
Alex Scordelis
Hey, who wants to hear about my fantasy football team? *the sound of everyone unfollowing me at once*
Jensen Karp
The real fantasy in my football league is that the other dudes w/ teams wouldn't have bullied me in middle school.
Ben Swanson
Fantasy Football draft! As usual, football made out of boobs goes No. 1 overall. #FantasyFootball
Aaron Fullerton
I'm a little nervous, I picked "humility" and "good sportsmanship" for my fantasy football team.
Rex Huppke
My fantasy football draft is tonight. Hoping to nab Tom Brady, a Minotaur, Jesus (with laser gun) and Paul Ryan's abs.
Ted Berg
Hey do you guys know if there's anyplace on the Internet or TV I can get tips and information regarding fantasy football?
Jen Statsky
So psyched it's (No I don't want to join your) Fantasy Football league season again!
Not Charles Barkley
MLB players, Lance Armstrong, and now Jersey Shore. It definitely don't pay to be takin them steroids.
Dan McQuade
It's kind of comforting that Phillies-Mets games have returned to their natural state of two bad teams playing each other.
Alex Mann
Fantasy football somehow makes having an argument with a teenager on a message board feel appropriate.
scharpling
I'm eating at a place where the guy in the next booth was legitimately laughing at a Michael Jordan underwear commercial.
Matt Goldich
I try to shower immediately after doing something gross like showering at the gym.
Seth Meyers
I can't believe Bartolo Colon got suspended for being 50.
Peyton's Head
For $350, I'm assuming Lebron's new Nikes come with your own child laborer.
Joe Praino
A newborn's soft spot #thingsmoredurablethanMikeVick
MORE TWEETS »
I wish I could divorce my work wife.
I can't believe it's already been a year since the last time I didn't buy you anything for your birthday.
Love Coupon: Good for one back massage I'll immediately try and turn into sex.
Just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now.
Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
May you live long enough to shit yourself.
I just wanted you to know that I noticed you were gone.
It's hard to miss you when you post a selfie everyday.
I'm lost and weird without you here.
May your summer birthday be less hot and sticky than the moment of your birth.
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Happy Hour
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Work Feels Overwhelming
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$12.99
Dating Profile
Magnet
$3.99
More Into Your Birthday
Greeting Card
$3.50
Four Figures A Year
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Age Related Jokes
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Bathroom Impact
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Being Around You
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