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Ben Swanson
09/02/2012
Fantasy Football draft! As usual, football made out of boobs goes No. 1 overall.
#FantasyFootball
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Ben Swanson
01/31/2012
You mean I can watch the Super Bowl on my phone now??? HOW TEMPTING!
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Ozzie Guillen
michelle obama great. job. and. whit all my. respect she. look. great. congrats. to. her.
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Fundamentalists are right when they say the Fantasy genre is anti-Christian, since no one ever picks Tim Tebow.
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First fantasy football draft tonight! Don't know much about it but I'll be in full chain mail armor and will try to get all the unicorns!!
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My fantasy football team is where we're at a party and they say "you're funny and smart, I want to love you forever." Am I doing this right?
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I play fantasy football because it is my fantasy to play football.
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Hey, who wants to hear about my fantasy football team? *the sound of everyone unfollowing me at once*
Jensen Karp
The real fantasy in my football league is that the other dudes w/ teams wouldn't have bullied me in middle school.
Ben Swanson
Fantasy Football draft! As usual, football made out of boobs goes No. 1 overall. #FantasyFootball
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Sorry the calendar played a cruel joke on you this year by making your birthday fall on a Monday.
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However old you are is the new 30.
Being with you is like winning the lottery but with no money.
Happy birthday to someone I hope is my friend even when we're too senile to remember each other's birthdays.
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If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
Love Coupon: Good for one back massage I'll immediately try and turn into sex.
If I lived closer I would almost definitely try to come out for your birthday.
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