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Cole Stratton
06/18/2012
I guess the jury found Roger Clemens' bulging neck veins to be trustworthy.
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10 more of our favorite obnoxious sports fan signs.
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Ozzie Guillen
michelle obama great. job. and. whit all my. respect she. look. great. congrats. to. her.
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Fundamentalists are right when they say the Fantasy genre is anti-Christian, since no one ever picks Tim Tebow.
Kevin Seccia
First fantasy football draft tonight! Don't know much about it but I'll be in full chain mail armor and will try to get all the unicorns!!
Michelle Wolf
My fantasy football team is where we're at a party and they say "you're funny and smart, I want to love you forever." Am I doing this right?
Jon Friedman
I play fantasy football because it is my fantasy to play football.
Alex Scordelis
Hey, who wants to hear about my fantasy football team? *the sound of everyone unfollowing me at once*
Jensen Karp
The real fantasy in my football league is that the other dudes w/ teams wouldn't have bullied me in middle school.
Ben Swanson
Fantasy Football draft! As usual, football made out of boobs goes No. 1 overall. #FantasyFootball
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I need a vacation from my vacation spent worrying about my dog in the kennel.
Just wanted to be the first one to wish you a happy birthday so I can feel superior to your other well-wishers.
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You're my favorite person to check for ticks.
However old you are is the new 30.
Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
It's about time for us to start making vague plans we'll never put into action.
Happy birthday to someone I hope is my friend even when we're too senile to remember each other's birthdays.
Love Coupon: Good for one back massage I'll immediately try and turn into sex.
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