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Jared Moskowitz
04/11/2012
A Florida town has banned dance clubs and skating rinks. Instead they will use that land for more child pageants and homemade Meth labs.
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The 16 best Mario Balotelli meme pictures you'll see in this list.
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Ozzie Guillen
michelle obama great. job. and. whit all my. respect she. look. great. congrats. to. her.
Johnny McNulty
Fundamentalists are right when they say the Fantasy genre is anti-Christian, since no one ever picks Tim Tebow.
Kevin Seccia
First fantasy football draft tonight! Don't know much about it but I'll be in full chain mail armor and will try to get all the unicorns!!
Michelle Wolf
My fantasy football team is where we're at a party and they say "you're funny and smart, I want to love you forever." Am I doing this right?
Jon Friedman
I play fantasy football because it is my fantasy to play football.
Alex Scordelis
Hey, who wants to hear about my fantasy football team? *the sound of everyone unfollowing me at once*
Jensen Karp
The real fantasy in my football league is that the other dudes w/ teams wouldn't have bullied me in middle school.
Ben Swanson
Fantasy Football draft! As usual, football made out of boobs goes No. 1 overall. #FantasyFootball
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Some days I wish I had a crappy education so your grammar wouldn't bother me so much.
Being with you is like winning the lottery but with no money.
When I'm with you, time flies like Don Draper on speed.
However old you are is the new 30.
If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
Let's kick off summer with a holiday weekend that isn't warm enough for summer activities.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
Happy 24 Hours of Constant Facebook Notifications Day.
Happy birthday to someone I hope is my friend even when we're too senile to remember each other's birthdays.
May you live long enough to shit yourself.
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