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Mark Leggett
07/31/2012
NEW OLYMPIC RULE: 10,960 athletes. One large room. One gold medal. Knives. Go.
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Mark Leggett
05/23/2012
Congratulations! You're at a much fatter person's goal weight! Have a cookie.
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Mark Leggett
04/16/2012
I've never seen two or more rollerbladers together. Not even people who rollerblade want to be seen with a rollerblader.
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Mark Leggett
04/02/2012
"Sir, what shall we do about Libya?" President Canseco furrows his mighty low brow… "BASEBALL" he replies. "WE WILL BASEBALL THEM."
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New sports moments even more awkwardly erotic than the porn you're watching.
London Olympics
New Olympic photos even more awkwardly erotic than the porn you just finished watching.
Names
More of the worst human names in sports history.
London Olympics
Photoshopper wins gold medal in imagining what Olympic divers look like while crapping.
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Whiffleball
Insane whiffleball pitcher shows just how many ways other people are more talented than you.
Baseball
Johan Santana's no-hitter followed by post-game interview with teammate's penis.
Hockey
Boob-crazed cameraman does the double take of the century.
Basketball
Overly sensitive basketball announcer initiates one of the most awkward moments in television history.
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Ozzie Guillen
michelle obama great. job. and. whit all my. respect she. look. great. congrats. to. her.
Johnny McNulty
Fundamentalists are right when they say the Fantasy genre is anti-Christian, since no one ever picks Tim Tebow.
Kevin Seccia
First fantasy football draft tonight! Don't know much about it but I'll be in full chain mail armor and will try to get all the unicorns!!
Michelle Wolf
My fantasy football team is where we're at a party and they say "you're funny and smart, I want to love you forever." Am I doing this right?
Jon Friedman
I play fantasy football because it is my fantasy to play football.
Alex Scordelis
Hey, who wants to hear about my fantasy football team? *the sound of everyone unfollowing me at once*
Jensen Karp
The real fantasy in my football league is that the other dudes w/ teams wouldn't have bullied me in middle school.
Ben Swanson
Fantasy Football draft! As usual, football made out of boobs goes No. 1 overall. #FantasyFootball
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Just a heads up that I'm starting my summer diet which has probably ended by the time you're reading this.
I can think of no better way to honor our fallen Civil War Union soldiers than by reminding Confederate flag-wavers that our current president is black.
Let's commemorate our departed WWII veterans by eating German frankfurters and Italian sausages.
Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
At least you're not as old as you will be next year.
Love Coupon: Good for one back massage I'll immediately try and turn into sex.
Not remembering where I set my drink down must be the same feeling parents have when they lose their 4-year-old at the mall.
I hope the new season of Arrested Development lives up to your expectations of being the best thing that's ever happened in your entire life.
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Un-Airconditioned Sex
Greeting Cards (Pk of 10)
$18.99
Hot & Sticky Birthday
Ceramic Travel Mug
$19.99
Alcohol Cleanse
Shot Glass
$9.99
The New 30
Note Cards (Pk of 10)
$15.99
Blow Jobs Flowers
Women's T-Shirt
$22.99
Happy Hour
Large Mug
$14.99
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