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netw3rk
08/07/2012
Ex-Knick tells child fan of the team to keep rooting for them. Current Knicks owner presides over decade of futility; mocks fans in song.
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netw3rk
06/27/2012
Ronaldo is the only player who is sanctioned by FIFA to have fluffers.
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netw3rk
06/14/2012
"Will I ever get to use my 'St. Hat-Trick's Day!' headline?", the reporter wondered.
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netw3rk
05/10/2012
Jordan hiring Ewing to coach the Bobcats would be the final piece in MJ's 20 year plot to completely destroy Patrick Ewing.
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netw3rk
03/27/2012
The way Donald Sterling talks about keeping Chris Paul "for a lifetime", sounds like only Abraham Lincoln can free Chris Paul.
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netw3rk
03/16/2012
Sorry Duke! Looks like you'll have to be satisfied w/ being rich!
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netw3rk
02/23/2012
Jeremy Evans should dunk over Karl Malone buying tickets from a scalper.
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netw3rk
02/15/2012
"You know, I was thinking about Jeremy Lin..." - Cowherd coming back from break in the 3rd hour of his show that has been 75% about Lin.
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netw3rk
02/14/2012
To be fair, Pekovic eschews publicity because it might bring heat on his cigarette smuggling business.
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netw3rk
01/15/2012
The Packers will spend the winter selling insurance.
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netw3rk
01/06/2012
Nothing bolsters a player's fragile psyche like constant mention of the player's fragile psyche in the media.
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netw3rk
12/20/2011
Great low risk move for the Nets. If Humphries doesn't work out they can just divorce him.
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netw3rk
12/12/2011
Prokhorov is putting his time, effort & considerable fortune into a corrupt political machine. He's also running for president of Russia.
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London Olympics
Photoshopper wins gold medal in imagining what Olympic divers look like while crapping.
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The 16 best Mario Balotelli meme pictures you'll see in this list.
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London Olympics
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BYU student discovers hobby even lamer than not having sex.
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Ozzie Guillen
michelle obama great. job. and. whit all my. respect she. look. great. congrats. to. her.
Johnny McNulty
Fundamentalists are right when they say the Fantasy genre is anti-Christian, since no one ever picks Tim Tebow.
Kevin Seccia
First fantasy football draft tonight! Don't know much about it but I'll be in full chain mail armor and will try to get all the unicorns!!
Michelle Wolf
My fantasy football team is where we're at a party and they say "you're funny and smart, I want to love you forever." Am I doing this right?
Jon Friedman
I play fantasy football because it is my fantasy to play football.
Alex Scordelis
Hey, who wants to hear about my fantasy football team? *the sound of everyone unfollowing me at once*
Jensen Karp
The real fantasy in my football league is that the other dudes w/ teams wouldn't have bullied me in middle school.
Ben Swanson
Fantasy Football draft! As usual, football made out of boobs goes No. 1 overall. #FantasyFootball
Aaron Fullerton
I'm a little nervous, I picked "humility" and "good sportsmanship" for my fantasy football team.
Rex Huppke
My fantasy football draft is tonight. Hoping to nab Tom Brady, a Minotaur, Jesus (with laser gun) and Paul Ryan's abs.
Ted Berg
Hey do you guys know if there's anyplace on the Internet or TV I can get tips and information regarding fantasy football?
Jen Statsky
So psyched it's (No I don't want to join your) Fantasy Football league season again!
Not Charles Barkley
MLB players, Lance Armstrong, and now Jersey Shore. It definitely don't pay to be takin them steroids.
Dan McQuade
It's kind of comforting that Phillies-Mets games have returned to their natural state of two bad teams playing each other.
Alex Mann
Fantasy football somehow makes having an argument with a teenager on a message board feel appropriate.
scharpling
I'm eating at a place where the guy in the next booth was legitimately laughing at a Michael Jordan underwear commercial.
Matt Goldich
I try to shower immediately after doing something gross like showering at the gym.
Seth Meyers
I can't believe Bartolo Colon got suspended for being 50.
Peyton's Head
For $350, I'm assuming Lebron's new Nikes come with your own child laborer.
Joe Praino
A newborn's soft spot #thingsmoredurablethanMikeVick
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If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
Wednesday means we’re halfway through half-assing our work for the week.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
Happy birthday to someone I hope is my friend even when we're too senile to remember each other's birthdays.
However old you are is the new 30.
Some days I wish I had a crappy education so your grammar wouldn't bother me so much.
May you live long enough to shit yourself.
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Being with you is like winning the lottery but with no money.
If I lived closer I would almost definitely try to come out for your birthday.
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