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Sam Morril
08/07/2012
Was told I look like Michael Phelps, then she said, "your face."...You sure you didn't mean I have the body of the best swimmer of all time?
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Sam Morril
04/24/2012
Deion Sanders claimed his wife assaulted him, making him the first ever pro athlete to be a wife-beatee.
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Sam Morril
03/28/2012
LeBron James reportedly dislocated his left ringless finger.
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New sports moments even more awkwardly erotic than the porn you're watching.
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More of the worst human names in sports history.
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The 16 best Mario Balotelli meme pictures you'll see in this list.
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12 awful Steelers tattoos that make you wonder whether there's something truly harmful in the water.
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Whiffleball
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Boob-crazed cameraman does the double take of the century.
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Overly sensitive basketball announcer initiates one of the most awkward moments in television history.
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Racer's awkward victory celebration will make you feel better about never winning anything.
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Ozzie Guillen
michelle obama great. job. and. whit all my. respect she. look. great. congrats. to. her.
Johnny McNulty
Fundamentalists are right when they say the Fantasy genre is anti-Christian, since no one ever picks Tim Tebow.
Kevin Seccia
First fantasy football draft tonight! Don't know much about it but I'll be in full chain mail armor and will try to get all the unicorns!!
Michelle Wolf
My fantasy football team is where we're at a party and they say "you're funny and smart, I want to love you forever." Am I doing this right?
Jon Friedman
I play fantasy football because it is my fantasy to play football.
Alex Scordelis
Hey, who wants to hear about my fantasy football team? *the sound of everyone unfollowing me at once*
Jensen Karp
The real fantasy in my football league is that the other dudes w/ teams wouldn't have bullied me in middle school.
Ben Swanson
Fantasy Football draft! As usual, football made out of boobs goes No. 1 overall. #FantasyFootball
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Just a heads up that I'm starting my summer diet which has probably ended by the time you're reading this.
Let's kick off summer with a holiday weekend that isn't warm enough for summer activities.
I can think of no better way to honor our fallen Civil War Union soldiers than by reminding Confederate flag-wavers that our current president is black.
The only thing I like taking off more than Summer Fridays is your bathing suit.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
I hope the new season of Arrested Development lives up to your expectations of being the best thing that's ever happened in your entire life.
I hope bad weather doesn't ruin the Memorial Day plans I didn't make.
Love Coupon: Good for one back massage I'll immediately try and turn into sex.
I was going to drink tonight anyway but I'm happier it's because we're celebrating your birthday.
Happy 24 Hours of Constant Facebook Notifications Day.
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