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Ted Travelstead
07/12/2012
Absolutely false. C'mon. RT
@FoxNews
BIZARRE LEGISLATION FORCES U.S. POLICE TO TRADE IN GUNS FOR JAVELINS FOR DURATION OF OLYMPIC GAMES
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Ted Travelstead
06/15/2012
IF WE LIKE DIFFERENT SPORTS TEAMS I WILL PHYSICALLY HARM YOU.
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Ted Travelstead
04/18/2012
Whenever I see some bozo practicing golf swings in a bar I know he's actually pretending to jump rope with an angel.
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Photoshopper wins gold medal in imagining what Olympic divers look like while crapping.
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Ozzie Guillen
michelle obama great. job. and. whit all my. respect she. look. great. congrats. to. her.
Johnny McNulty
Fundamentalists are right when they say the Fantasy genre is anti-Christian, since no one ever picks Tim Tebow.
Kevin Seccia
First fantasy football draft tonight! Don't know much about it but I'll be in full chain mail armor and will try to get all the unicorns!!
Michelle Wolf
My fantasy football team is where we're at a party and they say "you're funny and smart, I want to love you forever." Am I doing this right?
Jon Friedman
I play fantasy football because it is my fantasy to play football.
Alex Scordelis
Hey, who wants to hear about my fantasy football team? *the sound of everyone unfollowing me at once*
Jensen Karp
The real fantasy in my football league is that the other dudes w/ teams wouldn't have bullied me in middle school.
Ben Swanson
Fantasy Football draft! As usual, football made out of boobs goes No. 1 overall. #FantasyFootball
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May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
Love Coupon: Good for one back massage I'll immediately try and turn into sex.
However old you are is the new 30.
Some days I wish I had a crappy education so your grammar wouldn't bother me so much.
May you live long enough to shit yourself.
If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
I love you with all of my heart and genitals.
Sex with you is so good that we should celebrate it by having sex.
Just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now.
Being with you is like winning the lottery but with no money.
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